2 going on 12

Its been awhile since I've posted an exclusively Collin post, and in some ways I feel bad about it, as he's been growing leaps and bounds. When I'm 40 or so, and want to reflect back on the brief and happiest moments of his second year, I'll look to this blog and hope to mine the feelings I have throughout the days we spend together now and somehow be able to jump back into the moment. I know that these blog posts will be my window to his childhood, and I don't want to regret not recording enough of the precious moments that happen everyday.

At the same time, I'm trying desperately hard to track every tiny moment of Owen's life, because he grows much more quickly than I can ever attempt to follow. Having two little boys means having at least half the attention to detail that I did when Collin was little, and perpetually, I feel like he's always a little bit slighted. So I try to keep up more diligently with Owen to find some way to provide a tiny bit of retribution.

But basically, I just end up failing at both.

Lately, Collin's been amazing me even more than usual, with his incredible growth and hillarious antics. We're really blessed to have such a content and relaxed little boy in our lives. Most of the time he's the model child, and all too often I forget to remind myself how good we have it. He melts my heart every single day and I can't bear to imagine what next year will be like, because it makes me ache to think of losing this fantastic time in his life as exploration meets confidence and autonomy. He's so much of a little boy now, and just a fainting glimpse of a toddler. It hurts my heart to think he's on the skirts of independent exploration.

I can barely believe he's 2, as everday, I often forget that the daily occurences that we experience are sometimes the blind wisdom of what appears to be a 12 year old locked in a 2 year olds body. He's so inquisitive and responsive to his environment, building new vocabulary everyday and brimming with curiosity. Lately he's been asking "whats a baby (insert your favorite animal here) called?" or "whats a momma (insert same animal called"? He's anxious to learn about new things and uses new words recklessly. A few weeks ago he was standing in the bathroom peeing (yes, he's all potty trained, thats another post entirely) and said, "Daddy, thats hilarious!" (referring to his ability to pee standing up). I think we both cracked up, thus, ensuring that it was indeed hilarious.


On days like today he teaches me much about the world- defining for me what a front end loader is, a dump truck, a backhoe and an excavator. He knows all of them and can tell you whats different about each. He teaches me to open my eyes to new experiences (who knew that the world of construction was so rich in vocabulary).

He's also incredibly tender and loving. Collin has never shown even one moment of jealousy of Owen. When it comes to love and attention, he has the most generous heart I know. Just this morning, as Owen awoke, Collin came into his room and said, "Momma, put Owen on the floor, I want to hold him."- I obliged and put Owen down, and Collin quickly scooted around him, sitting with Owen nestled between his legs, unable to lift him into his lap, but anxious to be squnched together like a little bundle of sweetness. He picked up one of his favorite books, wrapped his arms around Owen, just barely reaching beyond Owen's body and held the book out to show him. He began, "Owen, I read you a book, no more dinosaurs jumping on the bed. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, 'no more dinosaurs jumping on the bed''', the end." It was so adorable, and had I thought it would have lasted longer than a second I would have ran to get the camera, but I knew in the minute it would take me to gather the camera  I would have missed this amazing little moment of love between two incredible boys. Owen sat and absorbed Collin's every word. It made for the perfect start to our day.

This year Collins attending ECFE again and the difference in his abilities are nothing short of amazing. He's ready and anxious for school and really doesn't need me as much anymore, which is both exciting that he's exploring the world independently, but also heartbreaking that he's taking another step out into this great big world without me. He's exploring the science table, cooking dinners in the kitchen and examining books all at his own pace. This year has been influenced so much by his imagination and seeing it flourish in his play with other children makes us so very proud of our little boy.

At about 25 months it seemed like a switch turned on and Collin began to pursue imaginative play. He suddenly was pretending to throw balls, and expecting his unsuspecting parents to catch them.  He was making pretend meals and sharing them with the whole family, including Samson and drawing on his knowledge about the world to build pretend enviornments- pretend playing at parks, schools, and music class.

He continues to love books, and is so happy to read longer and longer stories, showing us how his attention is expanding and how he's budding on the world of learning to read. He's exploring words, producing nonsense rhymes all of the time that are just adorable. "Momma, dog, pog, that rhymes!" to which we shout with joy, "yes Collin! That Rhymes!". A little spot in my heart glows with happiness as I see my baby boy begin the journey of learning to read.

Collin also experienced his first interactions with electronic media- at 2.5, he had his first encounter with the Ipad (while we were on a flight to Las Vegas) and looked at the tablet like it was the most amazing thing that he has ever seen. We don't let him use it often, maybe once every 3 weeks or so, but he thinks its the bees knees. It made very clear for us the connection between something very similar to addiction and excitement between electronic media (TVs, computers etc.) and toddler brains.

His opinions are becoming more and more clear and we're so proud of the choices he often makes. Collin likes helping others, and is often offering a lending hand when asked to put Owen's clothes away or pick up toys. He almost always shares without a fuss, and knock on wood, we're over halfway through the second year and haven't experienced a tantrum. I really think though, this is just because he's so laid back. We likely won't be as lucky with all of our children, but we're enjoying the ride now. He really is an amazing little boy.

Work for me these days has been particulary stressful, lots of deadlines and such, and everyday I come home exhausted. But when I see that smiling little face and hear Collin say "Mama!" with such warmth in his voice, it all melts away and I want to just wrap his little arms around my neck and dance into the evening without a care for what I've left behind at my desk. Its amazing how he can erase the worst of days with a simple smile.

 As we approach Christmas and the end of 2011, I can't believe how far we've come and I feel like its impossible to anticipate what will happen next year. I know that the little boy that I wrap into my arms each night is such an amazing person that I can't kiss and hug enough. Collin, I hope you know how much we adore you. You're everything we could have ever dreamed and spending our time with you enriches our lives incredibly.

Did you think we quit?

So I bet you are thinking we've gone AWOL.
Rouge.
Off the Grid.

Turns out though, our home computer crashed. Died. No longer remains part of our family.
and guess, dear reader, where all of our family photos were?

Yep.
In that tiny little coffin we call the home computer. The dead one.

Lucky for us, we were able to pull them off before the final resting moment. But, they are nicely stored in mildly inaccessible places for the moment, like external hard drives and such.
As a result, I can't do much on the blog, because lets face it, you don't care about the blog unless in has photos. Or at least most of you don't. This post is being brough to you by my work laptop, which I'm supposed to be working on, but I'm currently not (as you can tell).

We will return though. In the near future. I keep telling myself this and I've set a goal. Remember that the word "near" is relative. Somewhere between when life gets less crazy and I'm not dedicated to work until the wee hours of the morning every night (ish!). Its coming soon, to a monitor near you. Before Thanksgiving. I promise.

Be prepared for some mega blogging. I'll also be paying no attention whatsoever to the current season, as I have loads of posts backlogged from the summer. I might even pretend it is summer, because I don't like the winter. The older I get the more I realize I don't like the winter. Yet, I live in Minnesota, the coldest state in the continential US (internal conflict maybe?).

Fair warning.

Miss you all.
Love,
The Hollmans

Eight Months

Its been eight months since that bitter cold night that we made our way to the hospital to welcome Owen into this amazing world. Eight months seems entirely too long ago and entirely too brief of a time all at once. Was it really 8 months ago that I was pregnant, waiting anxiously for this baby boy to arrive? That part of this journey feels like it was ages ago. I can barely remember what it was like to be pregnant. But, seeing little Owen grow and become such an adventurous baby for 8 whole months, seems like it can't possibly have been that long already. How do they grow so quickly?

8 months has been another amazing adventure for Owen. His little life is taking turns left and right toward independence and adventure. Just a few days after turning 7 month Owen cut his first tooth (read Razor Blade), and a few days after that he spouted his first clear word : Mama.

Past the first week the whirling dervish of milestones continued. Owen has started moving, but true to form, he's carries the stubborn genes that both his parents have and Collin has too. Owen moves on his belly, like a seal lion, mostly backwards and in circles, but he's quick and clever. He will turn his body around and go backwards to get something in front of him, rather than just crawling forward towards it.

This week has also brought oodles of new food choices, as we started Owen on the real deal. He's had puffs, and cherrios, raspberry pieces, watermelon pieces and mango pieces, and as you can tell by his many chins, he continues to love them. When we started dinner meals with meat (like "tender beef spinach") he seemed a bit like I was feeding him dog food. He'd made this face like, how dare you ruin food, the most delicious substance there is, with this gross misrepresentation. Ish. So I would alternate dinner with a fruit and sneak through half a jar or so a meal, but now, he's take a turn for the better, and actually likes the meat dishes. Last night was split pea turkey, and he gobbled it up.

We also worked to get Owen out of his sleep wrap, entirely, and we're almost there. When I put him down I can do it without a wrap, but our nanny still has a hard time and sometimes drew still uses the wrap, but overall we're starting escape baby Houdini's efforts to break out of sleep wraps once he's settled in to his crib. For a  little while there I thought we would never get him out of the wrap because holding him was like wrestling an alligator to sleep. Not so easy. But as he's grown, he's eased into our routine and now usually goes to sleep rather well when I'm holding him.

Owen's naps are still rather un-regimented. I wish there was more I could do to make it more consistent and get him to take longer naps, but he's the king of the 1 hr nap, sometimes just 45 minutes. He still takes at least 3 naps a day and is up and down all day long. We work with it and he's along for the ride much of the time, but doesn't seem too worse for the wear. We still work to get his 15 hours of sleep in, with little naps here and there.

Speaking of sleep, we still haven't really sleep trained Owen. I don't know that we really will. He doesn't ever cry in his crib. You can just lay him in there and he'll just lay there, awake or asleep and look around or play with his Parsley lovey. Sometimes he'll lay there for quite awhile if we leave him to try to fall asleep on his own, but it rarely ever works, and then we just watch a wide-eyed baby quietly look around his crib for an hour becoming more and more tired.  So, I rock him and hold and walk with him, and hug and nuzzle him and really have no desire to put him down. I know they say you should sleep train your kids, but I've come to really believe that you can only hold on to them and rock them for such a short period of their lives that I'm hanging on to every moment of it. Before I know it he'll be 18 months, and too big to rock to sleep. So every night, after a day at work, I come home to my adorable boys, feed them dinner, play for a brief bit and begin our bedtime routine. For Owen and I this means nursing, burping, reading books and rocking in his rocking chair until we both fall asleep. I'm always so exhausted from getting up at 5:30 to have time to get ready before the boys wake up about 7, and not being able to get to bed until 11 or so, that I take a sort of power nap at his bedtime. So off we dream together, and without fail, after about 45 minutes of soundly sleeping my legs fall asleep on the footstool and I wake up to numb toes and watch the most adorable baby boy sleep soundly in my arms. I then place him in his crib and head out to face the dishes or work that awaits me. That hour or so, start to finish is such a precious time for me to be able to connect with Owen, and I don't plan to give it up anytime soon. So, sleep training- sheep snailing. Who needs it :)

These days Owen is the master of sitting and reaching, pulling anything toward him that he can. He looks around and collects toys like a little magnet. He's enjoying Collin more and more, and really starts to belly laugh when Collin entertains him.

He's also started to wave, which just melts my heart and makes me want to stay rather than say bye-bye when I have to go to work.
Mornings for Owen are ready for rising and shining at 6:30 am. Usually I'm up around 5:30, so this gives me about an hour to get my day started before Owen and Collin begin their mornings. Owen almost always will sleep until Collin wakes up, and upon the slightest sound from his brother, startles awake, confident that he will not sleep through a minute of the fun about to ensue.


After getting up and getting dressed, we make our way to the kitchen for breakfast, which has become more and more adventerous for Owen. He now enjoys puffs and stage 3 foods, a bit more chunky and flavorful as well as a host of small fruit pieces that are too slipery to pick up, and cause him to yell at the tray venting his frustration. It is only when I pick the pieces up and slide them onto his little tongue that he smiles with delight. He loves fruit, and is coming around to meats. At first he spit out all the meat dinners, but now is starting to like them a bit more and thankfully continues to be a good eater.

Post breakfast and clean up we take sometime to practice crawling and reading books, almost always nestled in between pillows and blankets in one of the boy's rooms. Before long we head downstairs to further our efforts to play, with Collin's requests for board games or books. At the same time I'm getting ready for work, so between stories and toys, Owen is usually playing on the floor while I rinse diapers and use the blow dryer to dry my hair.

By about 8:30, its time for morning nap, where Collin heads off to his room to play quietly and I sit down with Owen and relax for the first time of the day. Within about 15 minutes he is sound asleep in his crib and Collin and I are headed downstairs to be quiet so that Owen can get in the full hour that he so generously provides for morning nap (insert sarcasm here. I wish Owen would take nice 2 hour naps, but its just not in the cards for us. All his naps are short and sweet, with the morning nap coming in at the longest).

After he wakes up we tackle the day head-on, and head out of the house to the park, library, museums, whatever fits the schedule and weather that day. We head back home in time for lunch and afternoon nap, where both boys are usually tired and anxious for a bit of peace and quiet. They wander off to sleep and when rocking Owen I usually nod off too, for a quick power nap before heading out to all the tasks to be done: dishes and diapers, cleaning up toys and dog hair on furniture, making beds, doing laundry, thinking about what dinner will be, its a never ending collection of tasks, but it keeps me on my toes and I wouldn't have it any other way.

After nap, the boys play with Drew, try to get outside and continue to make mess after amazing mess, leaving a trail of paintings, colored pages, drool, spit up, smiles and grins in their wake. I can always tell how the day has progressed based on the messes I clean up at days end. Successful days are filled with many moments of fun and lots of excitement, burgeoning from paintings and stories that come barreling out of Collin's mouth as I get home from work.

And all too soon, its dinner, bath and bedtime again. Another day is over, and a new morning is headed our way. Another bit of time lost on the 8th month, pushing forward toward 9.

I can barely stand how adorable you are Owen, how loving and happy. I can't hold on to these precious moments long enough and I hope far in the future, I glimpse back at this post and remember just who you were at 8 months old, if only for the blink of an eye.

You're an amazing baby, and we're so lucky to be your parents.
Love,
Momma and Daddy

Saber-tooth Baby!

Okay, Okay, so its not a saber tooth.
But its sharp and dangerous.

Lucky for me there has been no biting while nursing. Seems this bambino is very very smart.
He has bitten pretty much everything else though, arms, shoulders, fingers, you have to keep any eye on all your extremities with this guy, because he's after them, like a little vampire.

If I didn't know any better (or if Owen didn't have four rolls under his chin) I'd say he's starving hungry all the time the way he ravenously attacks our hands arms.

As it turns out though, he's just sharpening his little tiny tooth.
Maybe we'll dress him for Halloween as a Saber-toothed baby.

How do they look?

What do you think of the socks with these, mom?

Babies and Sleep

Its not very often that I get on a little soap box to talk about parenting. In fact, I try pretty hard to keep my thoughts to myself outside of my job- since everyday I'm inundated with research about whats good and whats bad in early childhood. But, that doesn't prevent me from being concerned for the many little babies that don't get enough sleep, and as a result miss out on some critical development periods.

But, time and again, people say to me "wow your boys sleep so much!" or "why do they go to bed so early?" or "Why don't you just let them stay up?", or the best so far, "isn't it a little bit selfish that you put them down so early so you can be alone with your husband?". This last one really got under my skin. The lady who asked me this (who will remain un-named) just assumed that because my kids go down at 6:30 and 7:00 pm that it MUST be because I want so badly to be alone with Drew that I force them to sleep.

I was incredibly irritated. And so, this post.

Its true that my boys do go to sleep at 6:30 and 7, and sleep until about 6:30 or 7 am the next day. They also take lots of naps, totally about 3 to 4 additional hours of sleep for Owen and 2 to 3 additional hours for Collin. So, in all total, they sleep about 15 hours a day. They have pretty consistent schedules- Collin is nearly always home to be to sleep for nap at 12:45, and to bed by 7, and Owen, while a bit more various, always takes his first nap from 8:15/8:30 to 9:30/10:00. That nap sets the stage for the rest of the day, but on average he doesn't got more than 2 hours of awake time between naps.

So, why, dear reader do we do this? Why do we plan around their naps and protect, carefully when they get to sleep? Well, let me tell you.

Research, loads and loads of research, shows that most babies don't get enough sleep and as a result are cranky, tired, and miss out on critical development time. As it turns out a significant proportion of brain development happens while babies are sleeping, and the first year of life represents a critical window for development. Not getting enough sleep is linked to all sorts of risks (e.g. ADHD, low levels of emotion regulation etc.). As a result, we decided early on to protect that space in our lives, when they get their precious precious sleep. Because research also shows 15 hours of sleep is an adequate amount for infants and toddlers, we worked to make our schedules reflect enough nap time and bed time to achieve this. As a result, our kids often miss things that happen at night. We don't let them stay up late, and we don't skip naps, and sometimes this irritates people. We hear things like "why can't they just stay up and play?", or "Don't you miss out on so many things because they are sleeping," and some folks say things like " my kids just weren't tired, I could have never done that."

We saw, rather quickly with Collin that he was a ridiculously happy when he was awake as a baby (and now), how easy he went to sleep, and how engaged he was when playing and being with others. Collin was always happy, rarely cried, was very rarely cranky and generally radiated happiness. His ECFE teacher one day said, "sometimes you wonder if you do a good job with the kids because at this age they aren't always verbal, but then there's Collin. He's the happiest and most pleasant kiddo I've had in class in a long time." It totally confirmed for us how important his sleep was and continues to be.

And so, we've continued to be persistent with protecting sleep with Owen, and he's much of the same, if not an even happier baby. We see the benefits of their sleep schedule everyday. So, when people ask us why we don't let them stay up, or forget about naps, we think about the kids we see who throw tantrums, or whine continuously, or struggle to stay awake throughout the day, and wish, for a minute, they'd stop judging us, and take a look at their own kid's development. Putting our babies to sleep so they are rested and can benefit from all the magic that goes on in their little brains as they sleep is our job, as is determining when they need to go down and wake up, as babies don't get to decide whats in their own best interest.

So, when I put my kids to sleep early, its true that my heart hurts that I don't get to spend more time with them everyday, but we do it precisely because we are not selfishly thinking about our own needs, but instead putting their first, and that, in so many ways, is what parenting is all about.

So, no, lady, who remains unnamed, we are not selfishly putting our kids to bed early. Rather, we're selflessly giving up precious moments with them so that they can be the happy and healthy kids they are today.

**stepping off the soapbox now**

7 months old...

Oh baby. Are you really 7 months old? I just wrote your 6 month post, and now I've been forced to write as though another month has slipped through my desperate grasp.

7 months. Its a little turning point in your life. Your first moments of autonomy are squeaking out- we can see you make little choices here and there and show us more about your interests, which is so exciting, and so heartbreaking. I just want you to stay where you are and be my little baby for awhile. Oh, Owen.

Life with you is nothing but a pleasure. I can't even describe how great you are, its possible you'd win easiest baby ever. We're so very blessed to have you in our lives, and I can barely beleive how lucky we are. You shower smiles on us all day long. Right from the first moment you leave your crib, to the moment I turn out the lights to say goodnight, you are smiling, beaming. I bet your little cheeks hurt all day you are so happy.

These days you're doing all sorts of fun things. You aren't crawling yet, but you are definitely making your best effort. You can push yourself around while laying on your back and scooting like a centipede across the floor. When you are anxious to get to something, like the music box, you'll roll over and across the room, but you're resistant to rolling, as it takes more effort, and you're lazy most of the time. You do try, desperately, to crawl, but you can't get your arms to coincide with your legs, making it impossible to move, but adds to fuel your frustration. Since you don't cry, instead you yell, as though you are telling yourself, "Get it together, Owen! Lets get this show on the road and MOVE."

You love, love, love food. More than any baby I know. You have a couple of chins to show off because of it, and try new foods all the time. You get worked up when we don't give you enough (to your liking) or the food jar runs empty and you weren't quite finished yet. We're up to three little meals a day as we head into your 8th month, and before I know it you'll be at a year, eating all kinds of unbelievable things.

You're also on the cusp of getting a tooth, which I've been saying now for a month or two. Its seems like its **right** on the edge of breaking through your bottom gum, but you've consistently proven me wrong, so who knows when it will happen, but its right there, I swear. I'm sure I'll know all about it as soon as you do break a tooth through though, as you are still nursing, and if memory serves, babies aren't exactly the best at figuring out what to do with those teeth right away.

You spend your days adoring your big brother, who wants to play with you more and more, and you're starting to catch on more often. He loves to "read" to you by showing you books and narrating a story he makes up, or by hanging toys in front of you to grab on to. You think he's perfectly hilarious (still) and crack up whenever he starts to be silly.

You're quickly growing, already in 12 month clothes, even though you're not even 8 months yet, and you chatter often, although no clear words are consistently arriving in your lexicon. You wander through the days grabbing this and that, putting everything in your mouth, including your toes, which you've lately been enamored with. You seem to have realized they are attached to your legs, which is apparently, fascinating to a 7 month old. As you grow there are days you sleep in, days you nap often and other days that your schedule is incredibly various. This is probably the hardest part for me, as I like to have a schedule, and you, my dear son, absolutely don't. You always nap about 8:30 am for an hour or so, and then it sort of a toss up. We make sure you get the required 15 hours a sleep a day, which means, sometimes, lots of little naps, but there is rarely a set schedule after that first nap, which makes your days hard to follow. I try to go with the flow, and if anything you've taught me to be more flexible and patient, so everyday, we're learning to be better parents.

Life is getting more and more exciting for you, as in the fall you'll start ECFE and Music Together, giving you more and more social interaction and time to learn from other babies, just like you. Before long Lindsey, your nanny, will be taking you to story time and you'll be moving right along learning to make animal sounds, hearing new words and working to catch up to your big brother.

Our morning these days are starting a bit later, usually quarter to 7, or if I'm lucky a bit after 7 you rise and shine to Collin and I. You're now enjoying breakfast, which you love to do next to Collin, as you chatter to him and he smiles back and encourages you to watch him eat and play. Then its off to play time-- we read stories, play on your play mat, as you transfer toys to and from your hands, flip through books, gnaw on books and toys, rattle your rattles and move about the room on your back. Before long though, we're on to the next thing, which usually amounts to diaper rinses, getting ready for work, making beds, cleaning dishes...the regular grind of our day,and we talk, talk, talk. We've also started sign language with you, so hopefully, in a few months, we'll see you mimic the "more" sign or ask "please" using your hand to your heart.

As we wind down before 8:30, you nurse and head off to nap. By the time you wake up, we're all caught up with household chores and ready to play again, this time often at the park, outside or in the basement. You love to watch Samson these days, admiring his little cute face, and startling when he nudges you, or worse, barks when you are close by. At lunch, you often wolf down your food, anxious for more, and saddened that the jar is empty. You love to hear books and play with toys that interact- mostly in the exersaucer, where you can get things to make noise by pushing buttons, or at the Leap Table where you can play all sorts of fantastic music. You seem to be sucking it all in, absorbing every moment. Our day continues with nursing, naps and food, scattered with playing and talking, and loads and loads of smiles.

We're trying to wean you of your sleep wrap, which you seem to need to get a good nights rest. We've started with one arm out, and one arm still in, making slow, but consistent process. When we tried it without a wrap, it was much like wrestling an alligator, so we've determined a slow and steady course of action is best. We're plugging along, hopefully by 8 months or so we'll have you out of the wrap and sleeping all on your own.

Its true that our days don't tell the whole story of your adventures, as we do have a routine that sometimes seems all too regular to capture how special every moment of your life is, but we try, diligently to remember the best parts of everyday, how you make strides in sitting up (and rarely following over these days), using your legs to push yourself up as we hold you toward things you can stand against, and growing growing growing, so to be too big for the carseat! At 7 months, my love for you continues to grow, exponentially everyday.

I love seeing your amazing smile every morning. I love how you hug back by wrapping your hands around my face when we hug you. I love holding and rocking you to sleep, I love seeing your baby blues smile when I talk to you. I love how you hold on to my pinky when calm and content. I love that when I press my palm against your cheek you instantly calm. I love that you are growing attached to Parsley the Puppy, making your affection so overt, as you hug him close as I rock you to sleep. I love that your little life, fills every morning with love and happiness, starting each and every day with nothing but thankfulness for how amazing you are.