2 going on 12

Its been awhile since I've posted an exclusively Collin post, and in some ways I feel bad about it, as he's been growing leaps and bounds. When I'm 40 or so, and want to reflect back on the brief and happiest moments of his second year, I'll look to this blog and hope to mine the feelings I have throughout the days we spend together now and somehow be able to jump back into the moment. I know that these blog posts will be my window to his childhood, and I don't want to regret not recording enough of the precious moments that happen everyday.

At the same time, I'm trying desperately hard to track every tiny moment of Owen's life, because he grows much more quickly than I can ever attempt to follow. Having two little boys means having at least half the attention to detail that I did when Collin was little, and perpetually, I feel like he's always a little bit slighted. So I try to keep up more diligently with Owen to find some way to provide a tiny bit of retribution.

But basically, I just end up failing at both.

Lately, Collin's been amazing me even more than usual, with his incredible growth and hillarious antics. We're really blessed to have such a content and relaxed little boy in our lives. Most of the time he's the model child, and all too often I forget to remind myself how good we have it. He melts my heart every single day and I can't bear to imagine what next year will be like, because it makes me ache to think of losing this fantastic time in his life as exploration meets confidence and autonomy. He's so much of a little boy now, and just a fainting glimpse of a toddler. It hurts my heart to think he's on the skirts of independent exploration.

I can barely believe he's 2, as everday, I often forget that the daily occurences that we experience are sometimes the blind wisdom of what appears to be a 12 year old locked in a 2 year olds body. He's so inquisitive and responsive to his environment, building new vocabulary everyday and brimming with curiosity. Lately he's been asking "whats a baby (insert your favorite animal here) called?" or "whats a momma (insert same animal called"? He's anxious to learn about new things and uses new words recklessly. A few weeks ago he was standing in the bathroom peeing (yes, he's all potty trained, thats another post entirely) and said, "Daddy, thats hilarious!" (referring to his ability to pee standing up). I think we both cracked up, thus, ensuring that it was indeed hilarious.


On days like today he teaches me much about the world- defining for me what a front end loader is, a dump truck, a backhoe and an excavator. He knows all of them and can tell you whats different about each. He teaches me to open my eyes to new experiences (who knew that the world of construction was so rich in vocabulary).

He's also incredibly tender and loving. Collin has never shown even one moment of jealousy of Owen. When it comes to love and attention, he has the most generous heart I know. Just this morning, as Owen awoke, Collin came into his room and said, "Momma, put Owen on the floor, I want to hold him."- I obliged and put Owen down, and Collin quickly scooted around him, sitting with Owen nestled between his legs, unable to lift him into his lap, but anxious to be squnched together like a little bundle of sweetness. He picked up one of his favorite books, wrapped his arms around Owen, just barely reaching beyond Owen's body and held the book out to show him. He began, "Owen, I read you a book, no more dinosaurs jumping on the bed. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, 'no more dinosaurs jumping on the bed''', the end." It was so adorable, and had I thought it would have lasted longer than a second I would have ran to get the camera, but I knew in the minute it would take me to gather the camera  I would have missed this amazing little moment of love between two incredible boys. Owen sat and absorbed Collin's every word. It made for the perfect start to our day.

This year Collins attending ECFE again and the difference in his abilities are nothing short of amazing. He's ready and anxious for school and really doesn't need me as much anymore, which is both exciting that he's exploring the world independently, but also heartbreaking that he's taking another step out into this great big world without me. He's exploring the science table, cooking dinners in the kitchen and examining books all at his own pace. This year has been influenced so much by his imagination and seeing it flourish in his play with other children makes us so very proud of our little boy.

At about 25 months it seemed like a switch turned on and Collin began to pursue imaginative play. He suddenly was pretending to throw balls, and expecting his unsuspecting parents to catch them.  He was making pretend meals and sharing them with the whole family, including Samson and drawing on his knowledge about the world to build pretend enviornments- pretend playing at parks, schools, and music class.

He continues to love books, and is so happy to read longer and longer stories, showing us how his attention is expanding and how he's budding on the world of learning to read. He's exploring words, producing nonsense rhymes all of the time that are just adorable. "Momma, dog, pog, that rhymes!" to which we shout with joy, "yes Collin! That Rhymes!". A little spot in my heart glows with happiness as I see my baby boy begin the journey of learning to read.

Collin also experienced his first interactions with electronic media- at 2.5, he had his first encounter with the Ipad (while we were on a flight to Las Vegas) and looked at the tablet like it was the most amazing thing that he has ever seen. We don't let him use it often, maybe once every 3 weeks or so, but he thinks its the bees knees. It made very clear for us the connection between something very similar to addiction and excitement between electronic media (TVs, computers etc.) and toddler brains.

His opinions are becoming more and more clear and we're so proud of the choices he often makes. Collin likes helping others, and is often offering a lending hand when asked to put Owen's clothes away or pick up toys. He almost always shares without a fuss, and knock on wood, we're over halfway through the second year and haven't experienced a tantrum. I really think though, this is just because he's so laid back. We likely won't be as lucky with all of our children, but we're enjoying the ride now. He really is an amazing little boy.

Work for me these days has been particulary stressful, lots of deadlines and such, and everyday I come home exhausted. But when I see that smiling little face and hear Collin say "Mama!" with such warmth in his voice, it all melts away and I want to just wrap his little arms around my neck and dance into the evening without a care for what I've left behind at my desk. Its amazing how he can erase the worst of days with a simple smile.

 As we approach Christmas and the end of 2011, I can't believe how far we've come and I feel like its impossible to anticipate what will happen next year. I know that the little boy that I wrap into my arms each night is such an amazing person that I can't kiss and hug enough. Collin, I hope you know how much we adore you. You're everything we could have ever dreamed and spending our time with you enriches our lives incredibly.