Owen's 6th birthday

Oh little Owen, you are six.

Your sixth birthday represents so much- its a changing of tides for you. You are in Kindergarten this year and your independence is growing exponentially and I see so many strengths in your warm heart and socially welcoming personality. I love getting to know you when you shine in your own light, away from those you associate so closely, including me and your dad and Collin. At school you are such a leader- you are kind to everyone, play so well with all people, and lead with your heart. I feel like we've certainly done something right with you because you befriend everyone without judgement or concern. When a little boy put his hands on your neck this year because he was struggling with self-control I was concerned, but it was you who reminded me that we all have bad days too. When others in your class struggled to make friends with a student in your room who has a physical disability, your teacher reached out to let me know that you often connect with this child and really bring others to be open to playing and interacting with him. My heart swells with pride for how wonderful this is. How pure and lovely your heart is.

Your passion and fire is reigned in some these days, but in the best sort of way.  You still are intense in emotions and commitment, but you also are able to recognize when it is getting difficult to control your temper at home,which we appreciate immensely. Of course, it doesn't always work and you sometimes fight with your brother a bit  more than I'd like, but you are working on it, and consciously trying to reign in that fire. I can see you trying to manage it.

You funnel some of it into the things you love. I can see so much of me in you sometimes- you are an organizer and enjoy building and fiddling with things. You'll spend significant amounts of time on Legos, or Knex or Perler beads or coloring. We could do these things together for hours, I imagine. We are the same that way. You also have your dads interest in being handy, you always want to help in the woodshop. You enjoy cooking too and will often help out when I ask you to in the kitchen.

After a few years of ambivalence about your bike, you have committed to it this year, long before the spring has arrived, you've asked to ride. I don't worry about your interest this summer- I'm sure we'll spend much time on our bikes touring the city.

At six you are an excellent reader. Its amazing to me how easy it comes to you. You don't seem to try very hard at it but have a fantastic intuitive sense on how to figure out words. I am always amazed that you can figure out how to say words you've never seen before or perfectly guess how to spell words your brother is working on in 2nd grade. Its definitely a strength of yours.

You still do not love chores though. You are my negotiator always asking me, "why are you making me do chores?!? when you aren't doing them?!?" to which I often explain what contributing to our family means and what we all do to keep our family in working order. You don't fight me too much on it, but once in awhile I see a glimpse of a dead weight toddler in there wanting to just pout on the couch for a bit.

You continue to have a strong interest in soccer, and to some degree a few other sports, but nothing else as nearly as strongly as that. You are loving being a Lion Cub in boy scouts this year so you can join in and participate with the other kids instead of just watching on the sidelines. The continuous trial of your days is being the younger brother who doesn't yet get to do all the things that Collin does. All in due time, dear Owen. One day you'll be that age too.

Your heart is two sizes bigger, two sizes more generous and two sizes more transparent this year. I feel like I see more love from you, more hugs, more gratitude, but also more sharing of those emotions that are so hard on your heart- when you miss family we don't see often, when you feel unfairly treated, when you can't quite understand our decisions. My solution for you often begins with a hug because you continue to be so cuddly, just like you were as a baby.

This year for your birthday, we traveled to Michigan, so that meant a birthday party without friends. Typically I would say no to commercial characters, but since you weren't having friends and I couldn't do much to actually plan it in Michigan, I gave in to Star Wars, which I think just made your day. You've never seen the movie, but that didn't stop you from knowing and wanting to identify all the characters and plots.

When we traveled to Michigan things were pretty easy- we arrived on friday, had your party on saturday. You even got to spend time with GG Ruth, which we treasure. But on Sunday things changed- and the norovirus swept through our family, bringing a hellacious first 11 days to 2017. The only person to not get it was Eden, by some grace of God, and you poor dear Owen were sick on the flight home (literally) and on your actual birthday, which was so sad!

When you were finally better you chose the dinner location, as is tradition, and as typical, you chose the rainforest cafe- possibly my least favorite restaurant, but one of your favorites, so we tolerate it for your birthday. You were excited to finally be able to go after you were well and I was super excited to escape the wrath of the Norovirus, finally. So, six, will certainly be a birthday for you I never forget, and I imagine you'll recall it for a long time ahead too.

Six is so much fun for you. I love seeing you grow and I can't wait to see what seven brings. You are such a light in our lives and I'm so thankful God made me your momma. To another year of adventure and learning as we go, my dear sweet Owen. I love you with all my heart.

love
Momma (and Dad too!)

Eden is 7 months

Dear sweet Eden,

Seven months is such an awakening! You notice everything and suddenly the world is an incredibly curious place. You crane your neck to see in every direction and just can't see to absorb enough. This month one of your mos exciting finds are your feet. You grab them and hang on, like an expert Yogi, stretching your little feet toward the sky. The changing table is your favorite place to find them and its there that you are enamored most often with your toes, those little digits that seem incredibly new and exciting to you.

Toes of course are not the only thing you are excited about though, you also love food. You continue to try new things and love nearly all of it. Even though you love it, you still don't have any teeth. We can't quite figure out when you'll get them! You are up to two meals a day now, and your little chunky thighs and tummy makes me think you are packing it away around your little midsection. You are a plump and adorable baby and I love those rolls so much and you love breakfast.

With a full tummy and new toes for exploring, you've also taken to rolling around. Its your current mode of transportation and the only way you know to get from A to B, Its fun to see you roll roll roll toward the things you want, or to try to wiggle your from my arms. Its exciting to see your curiosity turn into movement, but also make me recall how quickly things advance from here- before I know it you'll be crawling and I'll be missing my tiny baby.

And while you are excited about food, moving around, and toes, and new things, we are not super excited about your recent sleeping. Lately you've been going down around 6:30 after nursing,but then seem to be up at 2 or so and its an on and off circus to get you back down, eventually we give up around 4 and stash you in our bed, where you only sort of sleep well, and we certainly don't, leading to not the best sleep for anyone of course. Its not ideal and we can't quite figure it out.

This month was exciting for you because it also was your first Christmas. We celebrated at home, which I appreciate very much and Santa brought you your first dolly and so many clothes, because you are growing like a weed. I made certain to hold onto this first moment with you, as you witnessed your first taste of the magic of Christmas. Your brothers continue to adore you and on Christmas it was extra special. They were certain to show you what you received and were excited for you to open presents, and they took special pride in picking out books for you. It was a fantastic morning.

A week after Christmas we headed to Michigan for the new year to celebrate with Nana, Papa, Cha Cha, Aunt Chris, Uncle Pete, Aunt Faya, Uncle Nate, and all the kiddos.  Owen had his sixth birthday party and you were right in the mix. On that trip you took your 11th and 12th flight, which means you are certainly a well traveled baby! 

This month we also started trying out the Starling. The Starling is basically a word pedometer that we use to make sure we are talking to you enough. Its actually a research tool, but I brought it home and put it on you to see if we could use it to receive feedback- which has implications for my work, but has been fun to use with you too, since you are at such a ripe age to hear all the words.

Seven months also meant a few milestones including your first word: dada. It was the first time I considered it a word when you looked right at him and started the dadadadadada babble. You do adore him so much, and its pretty mutual. You're an adorable duo.

Seven months is all kinds of fun, snuggled between being a baby and the independence of the coming months. We love you so much, baby girl.

love,

Momma and Daddy

Monster Trucks!

Sometimes we win at parenting. Sometimes things are all success, and barely any disappointment. Sometimes we feel nothing but joy and thankfulness in the gifts we were given as small, malleable humans. This was not that day. Or month for that matter. This was something different.

When you have a baby things change. We were totally expecting this change, but our two boys not so much. They adore Eden and really really can't get enough of her. But for a little while there I'm pretty sure they didn't adore us. We were short on tempers, over-tired, working to find our new balance. We were not at our best, to say the least. I'm sure they wondered when they'd get their parents back. I'm sure the were trying to predict just what would be our trigger each day. We were not winning.

When you recognize you aren't doing your best, its hard to find the way back. Usually because not doing our best is a function of some stress, and until that is relieved finding our way back is like wandering in the dark. But, this time it was a baby, not some thing that would wander away and out of our world. So we had to figure out to make our lives balanced again.

As we figured out our lives with Eden, we knew we also had to figure out how to give the boys the attention they deserved again. We were fortunate they were patient with us, and after many weeks of tolerating the adjustments in our lives, we thought they were due for something fun.

Enter: Monster Jam.

It was early December and I noticed Monster Jam would be in town. Just after Thanksgiving I bought Drew and the boys tickets and sent them off. Drew didn't tell them where they were headed, they thought they were off to take an afternoon ride on the light rail. When they came to the USBank stadium Drew told them where they were headed, and they, of course, were overjoyed. 

He texted me photos, and their faces showed pure joy. I love that look on them. So innocent and lovely. I was so happy to see them happy. They enjoyed every moment of it and told me all about the various monster trucks when they returned. 

 And while I can't say that Monster Jam was what set us back on balance, it certainly was a start. I felt like less of a jerk and they could see the light in our lives again as we find the cadence that is our family's happiness. And so, little by little we eeked our way back to the homeostatis of life.

Family Photos 2016

Family photos capture moments in time that years down the road you wish to go back to and hold tightly in your heart. Every year we go through the trouble to take them, and on that day, it always feels like such a mess- someone's not smiling, or someone is getting grass stains, or someone is making faces, and I always leave the photoshoot simultaneously wishing that it wasn't so hard and like the worst mom on the planet for all the yelling that happens in that hour of time to get a few good photos. 

But then a few weeks pass, and I see the gems arrive in my inbox, and each moment of discontent disappears, because these photos capture all that is wonderful and good in my children. Impish grins, joyful smiles, curious wonder, I love each photo for all it reminds me of and all it holds- the best of both worlds. 

So here's 2016, for each moment up to it, I'm grateful and for all the love in these photos, I'll forever capture in my heart. I love these four more than anything else and I couldn't imagine a life without all that comes with our family, the ups, the downs, and everything in between.