Family Photos 2013

I'm pretty sure it doesn't get any cuter than these. 

Seriously. 

Where do they get those eyes and expressions?

These boys

These faces steal my heart. 

These shots are in our backyard in mid October. They capture so much of their personalities and remind me of all the joy they bring to our lives.

We're very blessed.

Auntie Andrea

Well, its definitely not October anymore. Although, thinking back, it was pretty darn cold that first weekend of the marathon. It even snowed a little bit. Mother nature was warning us, I think. Maybe saying: LOOK OUT Minnesota, its going to be brutal.

But thats another story entirely.
This story is about running.
If you look way way way back in this blog, I think the very first post is about my marathon. Marathon's are not easy. 26.2 miles. But even though they seem such a daunting and ridiculous effort, there is something cathartic and inspiring about running one.

It demonstrates how much you can push your body. It showcases commitment and dedication. Its a pretty amazing experience.

In October, Auntie Andrea came to Minnesota to run her first marathon in the Twin Cities Marathon. She did fantastic and we followed her along the race to be personal cheerleaders. She wasn't alone at any point in the race for two reasons- first Minnesota people are all about Midwestern love, so there isn't 10 feet along the race route without cheerleaders, and second because the Twin Cities marathons is for people of all shapes and sizes- its no Boston. It doesn't matter how fast or slow you are, there's always a group nearby. Even Chewbacca was running.

So, Andrea ran. And ran. And ran some more. The boys had fun watching her, and all the others running by, shaking their bells and shouting.

Even when it started to rain and snow the boys were at the ready, even if they were wrapped in a blanket. This is at the top of the hill near Eastcliff in St. Paul.

Andrea though, was not liking the race all that much because she had a bad blister, leading to a raw spot on her foot. It didn't slow her down much, but it made her anxious for pain meds, which we delivered at mile 16 or so.

 

After 5 fun hours of route following and cheering on many many Minnesota runners, Andrea reached the final stretch, funneling into downtown St. Paul.

And then, there was the finish line in all it's glory. 26.2 miles, completed.

hooray for my baby sister. We're all proud of you.

The grass is always greener…..

When you’re paying attention to someone else’s kid.

Did I just say that? I admit defeat. Parents compare, folks. We do it. As much as we want to lie our face off and say we don’t or won’t, we still do. We do it and three seconds later tell ourselves not to. We do it and then compensate by finding strengths in our own kids. But, nevertheless, we do it.

So this post is sort of a post in hindsight. Because when Collin was 3 heading into 4 I did it all the time. Mostly because I felt like I could not get ahead of him.  Every other day I felt like he was intentionally pushing my buttons and on those odd days, I was staring fondly at the other kids in his class wondering why he couldn’t just quit doing the stuff I didn’t like and start doing the things the other kids were doing. You know, like writing their names well or responding to parent requests before, say the 5^th request.

Now, as I mentioned, we are out of this phase. It was a phase. I almost laughed typing that last paragraph because I had to re-convince myself he did those things to me. I had to look at my parenting notes (journal of frustrations and success?). It already seems like it was EONS ago. Parenting is like that. When you are in the phase it feels like FOREVER. When you’re out you barely remember it. Call it parent amnesia or something.

But I tell you, in those moments, I thought : 3 is really F*#&ing difficult.  Smart enough to understand, but little enough to miss the consistent and important message. Clever enough to feel like they are manipulating their worlds around them (i.e. ME). Exhausting and anxiety-provoking. For every time my child didn’t listen I thought: does he have attention issues? For every time he could not seem to keep his backside in time out I thought: does he have behavior issues?

Alas, he has neither. It was just a phase.

So, why am I writing about this? Why does it matter now; if its over. Well, its because we just wandered into 3 with Owen. Because sometimes we need reminders of the lesson’s we’ve learned in parenting before diving back in the deep end. Because sometimes a little venting and storytelling is also a little pep-talk.

Owen’s about 5 proverbial minutes into 3 and already there is a new air to his assertiveness. This time though, I’m breathing through it. For once, I’m actually not concerned, and even though as hard as I try to not compare them (but still do on occasion), I briefly consider the comparison and let it go.

Its fun to see them grow side by side, especially to encounter how they are incredibly similar, but so very different, and so, I’m trying desperately to give Owen a little more grace and let him show me his own way as we travel through the minefield that is 3. I'm sure he'll get me safely to the other side.

Starting Over

(An Advance notice to readers: I actually wrote this in December. Try to pretend its on the cusp of the new year as you read it and it will make more sense :)

Sometimes when I look at this page I wonder how I landed right back where I was the last time I wrote. Its sort of like a mysterious time-continuum cycle, where I write a post and think I’m on the road to getting ahead again, but then a few moments in our life go by, I relapse like an alcoholic in a bar and find myself staring at a blank blog post saying:

DAMN IT. I thought I was totally going to get ahead of this.

Sigh.

The good news is I at least know where to start, mostly because my last post is like a neon sign saying “hello lady, you left off here! Look how much you’ve missed!”

So as you’re all aware, we kindly left you with a glimpse of Halloween, where my boys were prancing around in costumes, stuffing candy into bags and running from door to door with giant grins on their faces. The stuff of magic.

Flash forward. Today is December 30^th, 2013. Nearly the last day of the calendar year. There’s a lot of reminiscing brewing in my brain as I think about what’s happened to our family in the last year, and the last three months especially.

I have to say its not been exactly what I dreamed moving into the new house would be. I though we’d get there and things would get easier, life would adapt and we would find our way more quickly. But, God had other plans I guess. Sometimes you just have to roll with it.

I’ve been thinking about what that all means for our family—how to interpret the chaos that makes us emerge into 2014 like a new little butterfly, fresh, and renewed from the experiences we’ve had. For me personally, its been a tremendous challenge. It’s hard to think hard about all your flaws and then pick one to work on. Overwhelming even.  Probably because we’re all our own worst critics.

I’m hoping though I can hang on to tiny bit. In 2014 I’d like to practice and learn much more GRACE. As in offering more courteous goodwill.

Grace is where I’m starting my journey. This series of posts will hopefully reflect that because Lord knows I could have used some in my most regrettable moments of 2013. In parenting (because lets face it, we all have days where we FAIL at parenting), in marriage, in work, in balance, with friends, with strangers. I could use more of it all around.

So here’s to more Grace in my life (and I suppose more in my family’s life too, as a result of my growth).

Cheers to 2014, my friends.