This is the place.

Summer is here. The sun is shining. The days stretch into long dusky evenings.  The hum of cicadas and croaking frogs are all around us. Summer personifies happiness for me.
This summer has been especially warm, but also especially fun. Vacation is over, and now we are past the half way mark, heading over the hill toward autumn.
For now though, I hang on to summer so tightly.
I suck the warmth and smiles out of everyday.
I run with my kids through the grass and pick flowers.
We play in the water and the sand.
Mostly we just live outdoors.

Ah. Summer.

This is the place.

This is the place where nostalgia covers the furniture in a thin layer,
preserving the happiness that lives within the warm cabin walls, the well worn mattresses and fans forever set on high.
This is the place where my children run fleetingly to the water's edge to say hello to the crayfish that meet them as they share the boundaries between their world and ours.
This is the place where technology is left behind, a pile of cell phones nestled like a castle of cards on the mantle, abandoned as obsolete and irrelevant.
This is the place where families find moments to hear the pitter-patter of tiny toes over hardwood floors, where silence is golden and fulfilling, and afternoons are filled with boardgames and literature.
This is the place where family members long past, arrive again, in the laughs and smiles of those of us who are present today, nestled in the comfort of generations of memories.
This is the place where dinners appear in rapid succession, each one brimming with soul-filling and delicious helpings to encourage a hefty and well deserved nap.
This is the place where cheesy spaghetti, horseradish dip, William's cheese and pickled bologna reign supreme as a constant reminder of where we were raised and how our family's recipes of love and happiness are carried on.
This is the place where the lake shore laps at my toes and hums our family to sleep each night with the rhythmic reminder that we are indeed, home.
This is the place where the warm, thick, humid air meets the simple fresh breeze from water's edge as a cocktail of summer essence, ready to drink in, nearly inhaling the sweetness.
This is the place where comfort covers every moment of guilt I have about stepping away from reality, like a cozy and warm fleece blanket, pulled gently up to my chin.
This is the place where the sky colored with crayola cerulean and robin's egg outlines the cover of my most recent novel and I lay under the warm sun to soak in another story.

Yes. This is the place.
Where everything but family and love and laughter, hopes, dreams, memories and moments are left behind to allow a brief, even fleeting moment to connect, to enjoy to be with those we love.
So we kick off our shoes at the door, to be revisited only a week into the trip as we begrudgingly face the moment we must leave this little haven. We rush to feel the sand in our toes, to absorb the sunset's rays, to stretch out across the hammock and release every responsibility, every concern, every deadline to the summer Gods.

We remember how much we love our families, how we cherish these moments, how memories are truly made and we envision them continuing forever so that we may always hold tight to this bit of genuine happiness.


This years vacation was all of those things. Summer in a condensed week or so, filled to the brim with fantastic memories. So, instead of walking through each moment in this post, I'll let the photos do the talking. What fun we had and how quickly my boys are growing. This year baby Agnes-Grace made her first trip to the lake house and Collin got to see his first round of real fireworks. Owen ate his first turkey leg and first corn on the cob and took his first swim in a lake. Both boys had their first jet ski ride and I had my first moments in three years or so to really relax and not worry about either one of them. We are a lucky family.

Adventures in Parenting: Episode 2

Welcome to the second installment of adventures in parenting.


The last time we shared an adventure in parenting it was about Collin. Well, not to be outdone by his big brother, this story is about Owen.

Let the competition begin.
On with the story.

Owen is a ham. A mischevious ham. There’s really no way around it. Anything that seems the least bit funny he capitalizes on.
 If he’s in your lap, he’ll try to fart, and when he does he’ll laugh.

If your face is close to his he’ll try to give you an eskimo kiss. You’ll lean in because its cute and he'll lick you. Then he’ll laugh hysterically.
If you tickle him, he'll try to tickle you back and laugh until you do too.
If you smile at him when he's eating he'll play drop the cup and say "ut oh! or "woops!" a laugh a 
deep belly laugh.
If you catch him without pants or shorts on he'll take off his diaper wrap (we use cloth diapers)and laugh really hard. I'll say Owen, no no. Leave it on. He'll laugh harder and take it off.

He's a comedy show All. Day. Long.

But today and yesterday he was feeling a bit under the weather. Not so many laughs. He's been running a mid-grade (101 -102) fever, and a little sluggish, but other than that he's been pretty happy. You can't really tell he's sick until you feel his poor little body. I'm not sure what it is (maybe teething?, maybe an earache? I don't know...).

Anyhow, today he played all morning outside in the sun and fun and water table. Wee! what fun! Then we came in for lunch, which was rather uneventful. We put both boys down for naps. When Owen goes for nap we always ask if he's pooped yet today because inevitably he wakes up earlier than normal because he poops his diaper, so if he has, we hope for a good long nap (2 + hours) if he hasn't its just a game of Poopy Russian Roulette.

Today he had not pooped.

So, we got him ready and grandma (who's here for a visit) laid him down. He was all set. Since he was under the weather I was hoping for a nice rejuvinating nap (so I could clean up and get some homework for a class I'm taking done). We were doing very well until about 45 minutes in.
45 minutes is WAY too EARLY to get up.

I thought: "He pooped!". I was sort of happy. If he pooped this early in the gig I can probably get him back down. I forgot to figure in the illness thing.

So in I went to his room, and while his little body had been a furnace all day, now he was making a sad face in his crib and he was ice cold. Poor baby. I figured his fever broke, so I turned down his fan and put him on the changing table. As soon as  I laid him down he cried and cried, which is super unusual for Owen. He rarely cries like this. I thought he must really be feeling yucky. So I openned his diaper and found no poop. Hmmmm.
Must have woken up because he was cold and felt icky.
So I gave him some tylenol and I thought, okay ,we'll snuggle and rock and you'll go back to sleep. His little shorts were pushing on his belly, so I left them off. I did not consider the disapearing diaper wrap phenomenom because he was sick and I forgetful.
We rocked and cuddled in his rocking chair and he nearly fell asleep with a little blanket on him, so I figure it was time to put him back in the crib. Down he went into the crib and as usual it took awhile to get him to find a "comfy spot" I watched him on the monitor for about 15 minutes, and it then appeared he was finally going to settle in for his sleep. He was nice and quiet.

So off I went, to the other room for my homework. la de dah.
An hour or so went by and Collin woke up. He came in and cuddled with me for a bit and we talked about playing outside. While I was talking to Collin I could hear Owen stiring in his room. I told Collin that I would send him outside so I could go get Owen. Owen was probably in there stirring for 10 minutes or less.

I walked into Owen's room with a big smile! Was he feeling better?! Was the sleep a success? and then I saw it.

Three jelly beans on his mattress, still in the shadows of drawn shades. I thought, Owen, what did you pull into your crib from your toy bin? blocks? some weird toy?

and then I realized what it was.

POOP.
No joke folks. This is the second story about poop. My boys apparently like to incorporate it into my parenting moments.

I quickly turned on the light and there in Owen's bed sat Owen in the corner, his diaper wrap strewn around the crib and three nuggets of poop. At first that seemed feasible to clean up. Just a hiccup. Then I looked closely at Owen, and there like a jelly smear across his face was a smear of poop. He was sucking on his Nuk, but his nuk was camoflaged in more poop.
So gross.
GROSS
GROSS
GROSS

My kid ate poop.

Then I saw his hands and knees, his whole little body, like he was going duck hunting for feces.
Oh Owen.

Really?!? Did you have to try to eat it (maybe even eat it? I have no idea) and smear it everywhere? I scooped him up, poop and all and snuggled him. I wondered, well, if you don't feel well now, I can only imagine how you feel after eating that. Oh Yuck.

I googled "What if your child eats poop?!" and luckily there were many responses. Turns out, it happens, its okay, and mostly kids are fine when they do it. You just have to watch them for a fever or symptoms of e coli or an infection.

GREAT! The baby who already has a fever should be watched for a fever. How the heck do I tell what its from? So I crossed my fingers and hoped any future fever would NOT be poop related.

So, there it is folks. Adventures part deux.

Drew's mom says it probably is a result of a genetic influence. Turns out Drew used to escape from naps with a bare rear end, taking his diaper off and streaking around, and  Drew's sister Susie apparently decided to take poop from her diaper and shove it down Aunt Jan's register, so I guess this was just Owen taking it the next step.

Its true that I have no idea when he did this and no idea when he took the diaper wrap off. I'm pretty much an awful mom. But when I picked him up he was all smiles. He thought it was funny I think, and well, if you can't beat em' join em.

With poop smeared into my own shirt and shorts, I laughed too.

 

Father's Day

Its hard to believe it's been nearly a month since Father's day. So much is happening in our lives, it feels like every time I take a look at our calendar it seems to have amazingly filled up, yet again. So a month later, I'm finally posting about Father's Day.

This year was Drew's 4th Father's Day. Quad. Quatro. Easy Potatoes.

He's getting pretty used to this gig these days, so there isn't much to say about the holiday itself. Sort of regular day where he got to pick the meals and activities (the farmer's market, a yummy apple fritter and chili for dinner), rounded out with a typical father's day gift (a hose this year). And while the day feels sort of uneventful, there a lot of things to say about being a dad.

I'll be the first to admit that parenting isn't easy. No one has it all figured out. We're all lost in the same maze. So at the end of the day, its about the joy you find the moments along the way, even if you are lost, and Drew's found a way to capitalize on every moment he can with the boys.

For a guy who wasn't sure about having kids, he's really found a way to capitalize on his inner child. There are days I walk into the house and find all three of them building a duplo complex with corresponding vehicles and highways, or other days where I find them in the back yard, each nearly half-drenched in water after an afternoon in the water table.

Its true that there have definintely been times when these finds were frustrating. Like- why on earth is there no dinner and a disaster in the living room, but all three of you (Collin, Owen and Drew) are having a dance party in the bedroom?

But now, four years in, I appreciate it. I appreciate that our boys will grow remembering how fun their dad was when they were little. How much he cared to play with them, instead of just watching them play. How we went out of his way to help them develop vivid imaginations, to build new and fascinating vocabulary and how he was there nearly every afternoon with a smile and a hug to say, I missed you while I was at work.  I love that Collin and Owen are learning how to garden, how to cut down trees, how to pound nails, how to mow the grass, how to build things and take them apart. Everyday Drew teaches them something new that I can't and I know that in this third year of their collective little lives the memories are becoming permanent in their little brains.


And I don't mind the mess.

Life is messy. There's no catching up. So, when you can't beat them, join them.

Drew is a great dad. Really. He's near the top of the "how to be a good dad" example list. He loves our boys so very much, and they are incredibly aware of how much they are loved by all of the time and attention he shares with them. Seeing him with them reminds me how lucky I am to have such an amazing husband.  How  fortunate we are as a family. How my boys, having him as a dad, are never stuck in front of a TV, never ignored, never shushed or asked to wait to spend his time doing something less than stellar (while he texts of Facebooks. Which I thinks is a ridiculous way to spend time when your kids are right in front of you!). The boys look forward to spending time with him and anticipate his arrival every single day. All smiles and reaches. It never gets old to their sweet little faces.


So, here we are, another father's day. Life among the roses. Happy father's day Drew. You're an amazing dad and we look forward to all of the new adventures you dream up for you and the boys.
All our love.
Alisha, Collin and Owen

A busy day!

Owen, our amazing toddler had not one but two gigantic milestones today: First Haircut & First time going on the potty!

Woo hoo! Did you just read that?

Little baby Owen decided to start potty training all on his own (I suppose he's watched his brother for awhile now and gets the whole gist of things) and went pee and poop on the potty today.

Not a baby anymore, folks.
For reals.

HOORAY!

Okay, fun times in the bathroom, but we'll get on to the more photogenic moment: First haircut.

FIRST HAIRS CUT

Up until today Owen was sporting something of a comb-over mullet. It was actually rather amusing to see. Long with pig tail curls in the back, long on top, but short on the sides. His little bangs were getting in his eyes and it was finally time to get a haircut, a few days after turning 17 months.
So to Kids Hair we went.

Here are the before photos. See those long bangs? That look on his face like "what do you guys think you are doing?"

Getting ready for the first clips. Bye bye baby curls.

Here we go, time for clipping. At first Owen sort of looked a bit uncertain, but then he spotted the TV that kids hair puts in their stalls. Then he became a zombie baby. Seriously. He was drooling.

I'm not kidding. He was drooling all over the place. I hope that it was because of his teething molars, otherwise I'm pretty sure the TV put him in some sort of seizure/coma thing.

First cuts. Not a noise from Owen.

Lots more cutting and even a spiky little hairdoo to see exactly how long his little bangs were.

Long. Like to the bridge of his nose.

Clip, clip, clip....

He even braved the little clippers to buzz around his ears and neck.

The whole time Collin sat in the chair next to Owen and said things like "good job Owen" when he was also fixated on the TV. I love watching Collin when he's being a good big brother. Its adorable.

And then the hairdryer. Which I'm pretty sure he gave the stink-eye to.

And all the sudden he looked so old. Really old. Like a little boy. I nearly shed a tear.

Really folks, what kind of mom almost cries at Kids Hair? 

This one.

And here we are. Such a big boy. 

So brave at Kids Hair.

Not even a peep of unrest.

Sigh.

All done. Time to go home. Two peas in a pod.

What happens at 16 months?

Maybe its part of a twilight zone or some supernatural brain physiology that represents a window of exceptional speed development, but the magic that happens between 15 and 17 months at the ripe age of 16 months is nothing short of amazing. I'm not sure how to document the changes but its in some way it seems as though magically, he's changed over night, continuously, every day for 30 or so days.

Really, I think he woke up one day with very clear ambitions to talk (a little more somber ambitions to walk, because well, he just isn't all that interested, since we'll pretty much carry him anywhere and even though he can walk, he still toddles like a drunk little man), and an even greater intention to clearly communicate with purpose. Suddenly at 16 months we're having little conversations. Owen's insistent about clarifying what he wants -pwease + the sign for milk, --, his clear and intentional phrases- "night night" and my latest favorite his own person rendition of I love you, which sounds something like "Iluboo". Its adorable, so tender and so precious. I can barely stand how precious it is. And while my favorite is I love you, his favorite word this month is a very loud rendition of "MINE" and its for everything he wants, desires, needs or feels as though he has some right to (read: EVERYTHING). If Collin has a piece of cheese that he wants he reaches for it and says "MINE!!!!", if I'm two feet away and he'd rather I hold him than his dad, he leans towards me and says "MINE!!!" its pretty funny to see.

Owen also continues to expand his vocabulary with new words popping up everyday. He loves to say wah-wah (for water- including with fire engines) all the time, cracker, pwease, thank you (which sounds like fankoo) and peek when he's trying to get you to play hide and seek. Every morning when he wakes up I go to get him and he plays a little game of coy. I say "Owen do you want to get out?" and he shakes his head no and topples down to his mattress. We do this three or four times- his getting up, shaking his head no, and plopping down on the mattress. Then, on the fourth or fifth time I say "do you want to go get some nom noms?" being that this child loves food, right away he always reaches up as though he's finally ready to get out, and why hadn't I just asked to begin with???? Now that his vocabulary is exploding he's finding new ways to tell us all sorts of things- he's clear and concise with his messages: "Up! Up! Up!", "Down, Down, Down!", "Bubbles!!!!"(+ the more sign), and most recently, poop (see the next post to hear more about that). It seems as though everything he tells us he does with such passion, as though its the first time he's experienced whatever it is.

The kisses. Oh the adorable, sweet kisses. Blowing kisses. Giving kisses. Kiss noises. Nuk in mouth kisses. It's so cute. I wish I could hold on to those moments forever. The particular moments he gives kisses to remind me how adorable he is, or to manipulate me into not putting him down for nap, or to get more food or drink. Sometimes he's too smart and I fall victim to his adorable tricks.

Owen also loves to give hugs but he recognizes them as "squeezes". If you say, can I have a squeeze, he nuzzles into your shoulder and gives a big deep hug. Its so precious. I love that he calls them squeezes. He's starting to have favorite books and clearly chooses the ones he wants to reads. Currently he's loving "Listen Listen", "Oh, my,oh, my, oh dinosaurs (Sandra Boynton)", and "Boats on the river." and beer. You know, he likes to be eclectic in his tastes (okay, not beer, but he really seems to think the bottles are fun).

Its time like these that I wish with all my heart that the moments weren't so fleeting. I'd resolve to remember every moment of how he is changing and learning in each new moment if I could. I wish I could see how that little brain is working, how he's making so many accomplishments before my very eyes. But alas, I can't, so I just get to savor the moments as they come, little gifts in time, meant just for me to hold on to, if only for a minute.

He's moving on to climbing new things. I find him (often) precariously balanced on the tank of the toilet, reaching across to the counter, pulling on and off the handle to the sink. Or, in the mornings he goes to the bathroom and gets inside the tub, sits down and plays with the bath toys (sans the water) like its an amusement park just for him. He's been taking the stairs, going down, one foot at a time (always holding my hand of course, and the other on the railing), but it still makes me cringe a little bit to see him take such giant leaps.

This kid is a fish. He loves water. Loves to play in it (sinks, sprinklers, water tables), loves baths, loves to put his face in it. I imagine we'll have an excellent swimmer when we actually get him to swim class. In the meantime we turn the values to the faucets off so he can't run about the house turning on every spigot here and there to play in.

At 17 months he's transitioning from 2 naps to 1, which is sort of sad for me, but needed for him. I'm looking forward to the boys having overlapping afternoon naps to get a nice chunk of time to get work done, but I hate that he's growing up into such a big boy so quickly.

And so, one less nap, lots of milestones, and suddenly there are no more babies in my house. Its sort of sad.

But we do have naked cowboys, so I guess its probably going to be fine.

Teeth! Did I mention the molars? This kiddo had all four molars that all came in within about 3 weeks time. The poor guy couldn't catch a break. As soon as one broke through another would start and he'd be in it all over again. Other than being crabby though, he didn't fuss very much. To be honest we didn't even notice the first two were in until after the fact (although that could be just neglectful second child parenting on our part I suppose).

And so, the world has opened like a flower. Two kids into this parenting gig and I really think this is maybe my favorite age. You can really start to see the world make sense to them, to see their thinking and inquires, which is such an amazing thing.

Owen, you're pretty darn amazing.

But, I'm guessing you already knew that given the way you've got us wrapped around your little finger.

36 months

Dear Collin,
 Just last week you made the transition to being 3 years old. 36 months of existence on this green Earth. I'm not exactly sure how to explain your journey this past year, but as I see you arrive I wonder how you grew so much, how you turned into a generous and loving little boy. Trying hard to see how you went from such a inquisitive toddler to a confident and happy preschooler is sort of like squinting your eyes in a snow storm- for a moment you think you can make out the shapes and landmarks of the journey, but then with another blink everything realigns and you are lost again.

Sigh. I don't know how we got here.

Maybe we're lost.

Maybe we're right where we belong.

Its hard to tell.

But either way, the last 3 years have been a spectacular journey.

Just after you turned two I can remember brief moments of time that I hold preciously to my heart. You were exploring vocabulary voraciously, asking questions about everything you could, but your little voice betrayed you hanging on to "w"s for "r"s and "l"s. A little bit of the baby left in you, shining through, reminding me that you could still fit in the crook of my arm, maybe, if I really tried. "Pwease momma! I weally want more milk.", Momma, its  de-wish-ous! its taste-ee!" These simple phrases made me smile everyday, and now as I see you tackle paragraphs of conversation, asking and articulating your every desire I wish I would have recorded them more often so I could look back and remember you as a baby boy.

Just today we spent the morning with the Lunds and Brauns- daddy's cousins here in Minnesota and before brunch you said to me, "Excuse me momma, can I please let the dogs outside?"- such an adolescent question, one indicative of responsibility characteristics of a 5 or 6 year old. Let the dogs out? hmmm... I'm not sure you understand what that entails, but goodness gracious, you're asking as if you know. So I giggle, because it sounds so funny to hear you say such things. But the more often it happens the more bittersweet it becomes because instead of occurring once in a blue moon as an outlier among your language, these types of questions are now becoming part of your everyday vocabulary. You take on new words with feverish excitement. Woohee! Enormous means BIG! Beautiful means pretty! Coasters are for putting cups on! Hilarious means funny! Hart and Risley would be proud.

At the same time you were exploring your new-found independence in the bathroom, fleeing the constraints of your diapers as we declared you potty trained and let you on your way. Its most difficult for me to reconcile that you were just leaving the potty training window at this time last year, because just today the toddler potty made its appearance again as Owen starts down the same road. Going to the bathroom is second nature to you now (even if it does require a few reminders to wash your hands) even through the night. In fact, it was being potty trained that forced our hand in moving you into a toddler bed.

Sleeping is, and always has been one of your strongest suits. You take fantastic 3 hour naps and sleep well through the night, nearly every night. Our largest struggle with you this year was getting to stay in your bed. Once we switched to the toddler bed you immediately decided you'd prefer not to sleep there, or anywhere for that matter. You would just stay up. Our first attempt happened a little before you turned two and we quickly learned we had to put you back in a crib. But when we tried again at the beginning of this third year you learned the routine and successfully would go to sleep. Between then an now you've spent the past 9 months or so learning how get you to stay in your bed when its time to go to sleep. About 7:30 you head into your room, read your stories and get tucked into bed. For the first few months you would run out to greet us in the living room 5 or 6 times using every excuse you could- I have to go potty, I need a drink, I wanted to give you another kiss and a hug, I need you to tuck me in, please sing me rock-a-bye-baby....and the list goes on. After about a half hour of fun you would finally settle in and go to sleep. Here we are though, now at the threshold of your fourth year and you don't try to escape anymore. You settle in right away and go to sleep, which we appreciate, endlessly.

Because you were our first child we spent quite a bit of time entertaining you while eating when you were little. We made an effort to get you to eat every bite through a daily dog and pony show, and as a result, the likelihood that you would eat without some sort of entertainment sometimes wasn't in our favor until this past year. At about 2 1/2 you finally took the initiative to decide you were the master of your own plate, and made our lives tremendously easier by wielding the fork. This is in such contrast to Owen, who we've nestled a fork in his hands at 15 months and let him find his way. I imagine he'll be independently using utensils long before 2, so we apologize Collin, for coddling you so. We're just learning as we go, you know. This parenting gig doesn't come with a manual.

You've learned over the course of this year how to lure attention and you've honed your flirtation skills. Really turned on the charm. Just the other day you met your 2nd or 3rd or 3rd removed, or whatever it is, cousin and even though you didn't know her at all before that day by the end of the party you talked about her like you were best friends, leaving her with a kiss and a hug. You tuck your little chin in and bat your long eye lashes like you have no idea how to work over an older lady.
Its sort of ridiculous how cute you can be.

But, beware. We're on to you.

From two to three boundaries were your obstacle. You tested them, defined them, erased them. A day in the moment of boundary testing went something like this:

"Collin, do not pull Samson's tail again. It hurts Samson."

 "Collin, say you’re sorry to Samson, we don’t pull his tail."

Collin:Sorry Samson (this used to be something that sounded more like "Sowery Samson" I'm kind of sad that you grew out of that).

2 minutes later.

Collin turns around, snickers, and pulls Samson's tail.

"Collin, time out for pulling Samson's tail."

Round and round we went. 

Actually, I think we're still going round a bit, but at least the ride as slowed down.

Throughout the last year you've also really grown to know and understand empathy and compassion. Out of no where we hear phrases like, I love you Owen!, and it melts my heart every time. You are sincerely concerned for others when they are hurt or scared and even, on occasion personify that emotion yourself, as though you too feel their pain. Its endearing and sweet, and in all honestly, something I didn't think I'd really truly see in you for a few more years. 3 years old is young to be able to understand and gauge complex emotions.
Nevertheless, you surprise me everyday.

I should mention though that this doesn't mean you are sincere in saying sorry to your own brother. We're working through getting you to see the same things you see in others in him, but because he is your brother, your right-hand buddy, you tend to brush off the bumps, bruises and offenses you commit against him. This past year we've seen you progress from "sowery, Owenen"- followed by a quick hug and kiss to the recent "Owen, I am sorry for taking away the toy. It was a bad choice."- for the most part a phrase that suggests responsibility. Now, if we could just get you to be sincere about it with Owen, we'd be all set.

Even with all the bumps and bruises of two boys in a small house, you really are an amazing big brother. You can be so compassionate with Owen when you want to teach him something or help him. When you talk to him you use your own version of brother-ese, where your voice moves up a few notes at the end of every word and you try to explain what you are doing, or try to cheer him up. You are especially good at making him laugh, which is rather contagious. I love that you are quickly growing to be best friends. These moments are exactly why we decided to put just 18 months between you two.

There are days when you wake up ready to greet the world with little blessings showered here and there throughout the day. Sometimes it feels like that tiny moment, maybe just the glimpse of a smile, something endearing you've said, or a special squeeze, were just meant for me to enjoy. You practice these random acts of kindness, reminding me how amazing this world can be. The other day we were walking into a store and you stopped and turned to your dad and said, "daddy, will you hold my hand?" a week or so before that I caught you(without your noticing me) talking to Samson. It went something like this:
(in a soft "baby" voice that you take on when talking to babies or small animals)
Samson, I just want to pet your back. ( pets back).
Good job. You didn't bark. Good job.
Samson, I love you.
(Samson sits there continuing to sleep)
Samson, you are part of family. Momma, Daddy, Owen, Collin and Samson too.
Family means we love you.

The best part of it was that you had no idea I was watching. I was around the corner in the stairwell, away from the activity, but listening in. I had a huge smile plastered from ear to ear.

What a kind and loving boy you've become, Collin.

So here we are, at the entry of this fourth year and I have no idea how to anticipate what will come. This time next year I'm confident I'll be in awe of all that has happened, all that you've seen and learned in school (which you'll be going to 4 mornings a week in fall) and all that you've taught me. You are such a bright and talented little boy and I'm sure the milestones you surpass this year will continue to amazing your momma. We're so proud of you and can't wait to see what next year brings!

All our love,
Momma and Daddy