Eden is four months!

 

Dear sweet Eden,

In the blink of an eye we've landed at four months. Your soft sweet smile bringing joy to every morning that I wake up to you. I can't help but start my day with a warm spot in my heart for how much happiness you bring our family.

At four months, our lives are finding their way into a routine. Everyone is settled in at one place or another, be it your brother's school schedule, you with Nanny Candy, or at ECFE on Mondays where you seem to watch the other babies as though they are foreign beings, or me, finding my own way among another foreign forest of trees at work. Things get easier every day.

I remember last spring getting the boys off to school thinking to myself, how on earth will we do this with a baby? We barely get out the door now. But somehow, we've accommodated well. We even have time for your brothers to play before the school day begins. Our weekly schedule tries to balance out life's needs with you spending most of your time with me on Mondays and Fridays. I head into the office late on Monday (around 12:30) and stay home with you on Fridays. On T,W,Thursday nanny Candy is here before I need to drop the boys off to school. You seem to have found your stride with her and you offer wide and infections smiles when she arrives. It makes my heart warm to know you are in such good hands and that you are so happy about it. Sometimes we go a little rouge though, and you get to come along to work. You've been to my office a handful of times, and most times we try to dress you for academic success in your S-IGDI onesies the team made for you. I'm lucky to have such fantastic work colleagues!

This month our days start with the sunshine, you usually are fast asleep next to me after your dad brings you somewhere between 3 and 5 am. About half the time you sleep through until 5, which makes for an extra restful night and an extra happy morning. The very first time you slept from 7 pm to 5 am was on your dad's birthday, which felt like a little gift to him! Everyday though, as soon as those little eyes lift up from the warm cozy nest that is my bed, you find my face and smile a big, infectious smile. The kind that makes you so grateful for the joy in the world. Every morning you remind me to be gracious, helpful and kind in this world. Babies really are the closest thing to pure joy.

Once you are up you'll usually tell me just what you are thinking. This month you've found your voice and it comes out in all intonations and ranges, coos, and aws, mimicking all we say. The boys were nearly certain you said "Hi" yesterday because you've taken so much to trying out the tones and sounds we make to you. We rise and shine and head to your room for a new diaper and some clothes. You continue to be so happy, with a side of spit up. Your spitting up doesn't seem to bother you any, you smile right through it, but boy do you still do it a lot. We almost always are two shirts and three bibs into your wardrobe within the first hour of the day. Nevertheless, we get dressed and I talk to you as we check in with your brothers, who are most likely reading books or playing for the most part, nicely, in the basement. Sometimes mornings are my favorite part of the day because they can be so kind and helpful to each other and adore playing with you too.

This month we bought you a high chair. We won't use it until 6 months, but we bought one that rolls around the kitchen so you can be near as I assemble lunches and make breakfast. Almost always the boys want to be right by you, talking to you and giving you teethers. The teethers are necessary because you want to chew on everything, especially your fist. You don't really use your pacifier much during the day, but you do love to put your fist in your mouth. Sometimes Sophie the giraffe takes a beating from all the chewing you do on her.

After breakfast the boys head up to get dressed, make their beds and brush their teeth so they are all ready for school. You and I make our way to do a few chores, making my bed, changing your diaper, and laying you on the floor to play. We've been trying to add more floor time so you can get better at rolling. You still aren't rolling from back to tummy yet, and I'm not in a hurry for you to do so, but I do want you to be able to roll in your crib if you get close to the edge, so this is one milestone I'm a little bit anxious for. It makes me feel better to know you'll roll if you can and my anxiety about SIDs and suffocation go down. While you lay on the floor and play, Collin reads you a book and plays with you. You adore your brothers. More than any of us, I think. You look at them with such adoration in your eyes. When I see it I hope it last forever. I hope you all stay so close well into your adulthood.

Another blessing built into the mornings is while you play with Collin and Owen on your floor, I get a few minutes to get ready for work. They are so helpful and so patient with you. Collin has been asking and wanting to hold you more and more and he's asked a few times to carry you. He's getting more confident and with guidance I let him make small efforts in caring for you. You can see him well with pride when he calms you, sings to you or makes you smile.

After I am all set for the day its usually about 8:30, time to nurse you and get you ready for morning nap. You continue to eat like a champ, and are putting on weight steadily. Your little rolls are growing more rolly making me think that you must be climbing the charts. We'll find out sometime next week at your next appt just how big you are though. Since your naps are stretching to be longer and you are sleeping longer at night, you've been also upping your milk intake at each feeding to get those ounces in, so we're up to about 5 ounces a bottle. This seems to be a happy sense of satisfaction for you- your dad says you get pretty excited for the bottle. I rarely get to see bottles though, because if I am there I'd rather nurse you than give you a bottle to keep supply up. The naps have fallen into a pattern of 3 or 4 a day, depending on the stretch of them. They aren't quite as long as I'd like just yet, still in the 45 minute zone. I crave that magical 2 hour nap for you (and for me!)

Once you are down for your nap, we take off for our day, the boys to school and me to work. Then at 2:15 your dad comes home and gets to enjoy just you for the next 1.5 hours or so. You are often sleeping, which is good, because you need it, but I know he loves the time with just you too, when the boys are still at school. Around 3:45 you leave to go pick the boys up and then the evening routines begin, dinner, practices, games, swimming, whatever is happening that particular evening...
Life is a little bit crazy, but we try to maintain some semblance of the schedule for you. We squeeze in tummy time, books and lots of conversation every day and end our days usually with a bath, the going to bed book and a cuddle to sleep before we rest you peacefully in your crib.

Our weekends are filled with Soccer games (which you are enamored with! You stare at the boys running with quiet alert contentment for nearly the whole hour!), errands, trips here there an everywhere and family fun. You love to be with us and be part of the action in the Ergo or facing outward in the Moby. Next month we'll take another trip down to see Andrea in NC, where you'll get your first go at the Smokey mountains, so more adventures for you are right around the corner!

We're so lucky that you are are such a happy, cuddly, warm and loving baby. You make the parenting gig pretty easy and we all just can't get enough of you. My heart beams with happiness to have you in our family and we can't wait to see what 5 months brings!

all our love
Momma and Daddy

Owen's first day of Kindergarten

Second children provide you with an opportunity to live out every parenting lesson you’ve learned, and to foresee every milestone from a different lens. You don’t wander around in the dark, feeling your way through what comes next. Instead you stride confidently and come prepared. Wipes, smile, backpack….gulp.

Owen’s first day of Kindergarten was amazing. He was soo soo soo ready for K. He’d asked to go for nearly a year before the first day and he had tools to be successful like nobody’s business: knows how to read (check), social butterfly (giant check), knows the school (check), knows the teacher (check), academically strong (check), behaviorally mellow (tiny check). So, why then, on the day of, did I feel my heart squeeze so tightly and my mind raced to think, and be certain that everything would be okay?

I knew he would be fine. But no matter how much I knew, or how prepared I was. Kindergarten is a bridge, one that marks the end of one of my most important jobs as a momma- growing a tiny human into someone who is ready to independently interact with the world.

And so, we took a deep breath and walked right into EDW for the very first day of Kindergarten. Owen was excited and anxious to get started. He waited in the foyer 10 minutes before time to leave with his backpack on, he felt confident in his new shoes with his first day sign and when we arrived at school he happily waved to Collin and took off down to Kindergarten. He had no trouble saying goodbye and left me with nothing but a big smile. He was ready.

Which means, we had to be too. Except, I’m not sure that I was. Parenting Owen is an adventure. That boy loves with his whole being, he shares so much joy and happiness that his teachers always comment on how joyful he is in class. With his happiness, comes equally intense frustrations too- he doesn’t like to be slighted, and when he feels that way, he struggles to manage his emotions. This really though, only shows up at home. At school his teachers report he has excellent emotion regulation. We get to see the bright spots in his fierce heart that no one else does- we get to see both sides of his passion. With that intensity, its been a challenge to find out how to fit his puzzle together. Some days I think I am totally doing it wrong. But other days I see so much of that pure unadultered joy, that I can’t help but feel enveloped by the love he shares with others, and hope that some of it has to do with how we’ve raised him.

Along the way he’s used some of his effort to learn academics- from the outside it looks like academic content- math and reading especially are not very hard for him at all. He seems to just pick it up. At the beginning of K he’s a great reader and can do a decent amount of math. He’s able to write well, and likes to color and draw. He collects facts like they are going out of style and really shines by being a fantastic friend. He loves to be social and other kids notice- whenever I see him with peers he’s a center of attention. This all seems to come so effortlessly to him, its amazing to watch.  I’m proud of him.

But, what I’m proud of him the most is for where he has to work for it. The things that don’t come so easy. At home when he does have those few fleeting moments where he tries to mind his temper, or when he is able to slow himself enough to try words instead of fists with his brother. Those are the moments that make me very proud.

Tonight, as always, he said, “I love you mom”. I never get tired of hearing that. When those words come out of his mouth the things I think of are how generous his heart is, that even after I’ve scolded him, likely repeatedly, he’s forgiven my anger and turned back to affection. I also think that we must be doing something right, that he ends his day with appreciation for others and not resolved to keep his irritations at the forefront of his thinking. He’s magical like that.

On this first day of Kindergarten, its me who’s not so ready. I don’t feel like I have my finger on parenting him just yet, and he’s teaching me new things everyday. I’m so grateful for what he’s brought into our lives and all the ways he’s changed who I am so that I can be a better momma to him, his brother and his new sister. This makes me feel hesitant to let him go. To see him walk into the wild-blue-yonder without knowing just how it will go because I just yet can’t be certain how to create success for him.

But the thing is, with our without me, he IS ready. His big smile, his enthusiasm, his giant heart all tell me its going to be okay. Kindergarten will be wonderful and he’ll do great.

I watch him walk to his desk and I wonder who he will befriend first, and how he’ll manage the day to day of learning new things. I watch him think over his lunch choices and follow his teacher’s prompts. But mostly, I watch him want to connect and say goodbye to me with a deep hug and confident smile, his bright and joyful eyes saying I can’t wait. And then I go. I say have a great day, I love you. I say see you tonight. I give hugs, and I remind myself that I don’t have to be ready just yet. There’s so much more to learn and so much more to see through his eyes. Kindergarten will teach us both new things I am sure.

This year I hope for Owen that he pushes himself further to learn new things. That he learns how to expand his ability to be empathetic and honest. That he tries everything that seems like a challenge but has a positive outcome beyond the hurdle and that he makes friends that will be with him for the rest of his life.

Kindergarten marks the beginning of something wonderful, and I can’t wait to see what it brings into our lives, with you, my confident, caring and passionate Owen, at the helm of this adventure.

Portugal!

A post in pictures alone. From Porto to Lisbon, Lisbon to Sintra and Cascais, Sintra back to Lisbon, Lisbon to the Algarve, in the Algarve, Lagos then Faro, from Faro to Madeira, and finally Madeira back to Lisbon and Lisbon home. It was a trip of a lifetime. Maybe one of my favorite we've had so far. 

My heart soars when we travel together.