Now, at 36 weeks, I'm feeling more and more ready to deliver physically. Its hard to bend over, hard to pick up Collin, hard to breathe...you get the idea. But in the real world, outside of my belly, I'm not exactly ready yet. The nursery isn't ready, the car seat isn't installed, the freezer meals aren't made...I've got a little list and I'm plugging away hoping that this little guy doesn't show up early so I can feel like I'm able to relax when he finally does make his grand appearance.
This pregnancy, as I've written about before, is quite a bit different than when I was pregnant with Collin, but maybe most clearly different in that we've already made not one, but two trips to the hospital for baby Hollman, as he's decided to exert his independence and prompt some panic in mommy and daddy through some unexpected contractions and periodic spotting. As it turns out though (thus far) all trips to the hospital have resulted in nada- just being monitored and sent back home with a drug of choice (to stop contractions) on occasion. I think that these trips to the Labor and Delivery floor have prompted a bit of additional relaxation in me though, which may be good or bad. Because we've been given a clean bill of health twice after these episodes I've come to think that nearly everything that might be concerning to a first time mom is no big deal. Irregular contractions- nothing to worry about, a little light spotting- nothing you can't deal with in the morning, tremendous back pain- unlikely labor, grin and bear it...etc.
As we settle into the last month (less than 30 days!) I'm struck by how excited and anxious I am to meet and hold baby Hollman. I dream about savoring whole days where I can just admire and hold him (which is far, far from what reality will be, I'm sure), but I'm already in awe of how much of a miracle babies are. Maybe its the Christmas season or maybe its my hormones, but I can't help having a feeling of entire completeness as we continue to add to our family.
A few weeks back we met with Jenn, our photographer to do a photoshoot for Christmas Cards and maternity photos. I'm glad we did these again this time. I contemplated just using the Christmas photos as evidence of my pregnancy, but the photos (at least to me) help illustrate a connection between us (me and the baby that is) that isn't captured when others are around. A combination of anxiousness and contentedness that Jenn can capture in a way we can't on our own.
Along the way I've been crafting like a mad lady (when I have time that is, and when I'm not going crazy nesting), making curtains, making boppy covers (in which I installed my first zipper- which was much easier than I thought it would be!), and finishing the afghan. Next up on the craft docket is the quilt, but I have no plans of even getting started until I'm imminently close to labor, so I don't plan to have it finished until summer or so :)
The nursery is almost done, a few photos to hang, the crib bedding to put in and some baskets left to purchase, but generally we are making our way to being ready for a baby. I'll post some photos soon of all the crafts I've done to greet baby Hollman and completed shots of the nursery.
These last few weeks are full of butterfly-like anticipation for meeting baby Hollman. I wonder if he'll look like Collin did, if the labor will be quick or long, easy or painful, if he'll adapt well to his big brother....Mostly though, I am anxious to have him in my arms.
This pregnancy, even through all the ups and downs, has been another wonder in our lives. Every muscle cramp, tired night, aching limb, and nauseating wave will be well worth it when our little bundle of adorable Hollman & Wackerle genes arrives. We can't wait to meet you baby Hollman (just hang on for a few more weeks and we'll be all set!).
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