Mother's Intuition

So, as I mentioned in my last post, I headed out of San Francisco on Monday the 30th on the red eye flight arriving in Minnesota at 6:00 am in the morning. Tired, exhausted, a little bit nauseous; Drew picked me up, we headed out to breakfast and then traveled over to the OBGYN office to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl.

As I've mentioned before I've had a feeling about this little baby for awhile. Even though things have been different this pregnancy I've always felt like it was another boy. I don't know how describe how I thought this, but intuitively my body seemed to say "boy" "boy" "boy".

When we got to the OBGYN I just wanted to take a nap. I was so tired, but also excited at the same time, making me sort of slap-happy. I am sure I was a sight for sore eyes (who didn't smell all that great, having not brushed my teeth or taken a shower in over 24 hours). So, in we went, first visitors to the Level 2 ultrasound room where we positioned ourselves in front of a TV screen to see what this little baby was up to.

Now, part of me was so groggy that I had a hard time following what our technician was saying, but part of me also thought she was just as tired as I was, because she wasn't sharing much and zooming through all the checks. Luckily, we had a good sense of what we were looking at, so we were able to catch glimpses of little arms, little toes, tiny little hands and a little thumb appropriately placed in this baby's mouth.

As the technician walked through all of the checks, heart chambers, brain hemispheres, spinal cord, kidneys and stomach I felt my nervous concerns flitter away. This baby is healthy and active. This baby sucks it's thumb and waves. This baby does somersaults and is just as stubborn as Collin when requested to move, roll over or position itself in any particular way. As we were heading through the images I caught a very brief glimpse of what I thought were boy parts, but our technician quickly moved on. Apparently, when its your second child they don't spend so much time seeking out the sex for you. I kept waiting for her to go back and actually look to see if its was a boy or girl, but she just kept moving on to other body parts, functions or connections. At the end of the ultrasound I was prepared to hear "we couldn't tell what it is" since she hadn't made a big deal about any of it, but to my surprise she asked if we had an inclination about what it is. I told her my thoughts, that I was feeling as though this was a little boy.

And then, she agreed.

Yep. Its a boy.

I sort of did a little double take.Huh? Thats it. You're not even going to show me? I was so confused I asked again. She said, "its a boy" , so I responded with "are you sure?", to which she responded in a dull, unenthusiastic tone, "Yes."

End of conversation.

This was so weird to me, as last time, they made a huge deal of it, freezing the tell-tale frame, printing a picture, pasting text "It's a boy!" on the screen shot. But this time it was just a quite little verbal confirmation. No evidence. No picture. Nada.

So, I hope she was right. I still feel as though its a boy, so I don't really doubt her, but it would have been nice to see a bit of evidence to support her claims, being I am so very data-driven. But I guess I'll just have to wait until he's born to confirm my, and her suspicions :)

The technician probably thought we were disappointed to have another boy, based on the many times I asked her to clarify, but its actually quite to the contrary. We're very excited about raising two boys together, close in age, and with any luck close at heart. We hope these boys grow up like two peas in a pod, together as a team of mischievous marauders.

Seeing all of the working parts, the ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes made me so much more aware of the tiny little guy who's growing inside me. Its hard to take the time to revel and enjoy this pregnancy as much as I was able to with Collin because our lives are so much more busy, yet this baby has been such a blessing already.

Early on I thought I was going to experience back pain during the 17th week, but it was a false alarm as I am still doing well with minimal back pain. This baby has also blessed me with the ability to stay awake all day long, which is more than I can say for what Collin did to me :) In general, this little guy is a pleasure to carry, allowing me to sleep comfortably, still carry Collin and enjoy all kinds of foods (save for the first trimester) that continue to be delicious! So cheers to baby boy number two, you are already making our lives so much better.

As usual, we hope to keep this baby's name a secret until the end, but the more we think about it the more it seems like this isn't really feasible, as at home we are teaching Collin his name and preparing the nursery with his name on the wall. I don't exactly have the energy to prevent every person who visits us between now and January from going in the spare bedroom, and if Collin blurts out the baby's name to family and friends there isn't much we can do about it, but, don't get too excited, because we aren't exactly giving it away. If you want to know the baby's name you'll have to work for it. Each letter as a puzzle. Stay tuned for new posts revealing his name.

So in anticipation of baby boy Hollman we're starting to move toward getting things ready, preparing a nursery and getting out all of the newborn clothes. Looking at the tiny little layette its so hard to believe Collin had ever fit in any of the pieces.

As I mentioned before, now that I'm growing outward we agreed to share our bump watch photos. I thought originally, with Collin, we posted the first picture at 17 weeks, but it turns out it was more like 22 weeks, so here I am, at 22 weeks now, with a baby bump, excitedly anticipating all that will come between now and January 20th, 2011.