Times are a changin'

Believe it our not, we're 18 weeks into this pregnancy. Maybe its easier for others to believe than me- as everything is incredibly different this time around. Well, not everything... there was the ridiculously annoying and gut-wrenchingly disgusting nausea that came with the first trimester. While not as generally awful overall as it was with Collin, this time it included much more intensity over brief periods of time. For one or two hours a day I'd feel like I was about to somehow eject my stomach through my mouth (which makes for a fantastic visual, I know :)

Oh, and there is the heartburn. Again, not as horrible as it was with Collin, but still present and annoying. Oh Tums.....

Then there are the things that are different. For example, this time the back pain is starting earlier and is duller. So I'm consistently hurting, but not quite enough to do much about it just yet :) We'll see how that goes. This time I'm much more tolerant of all the aches and growing pains that come with being pregnant. Round ligament pain, crazy leg cramps, awful, awful skin- they're all part of the package, I guess.

Originally I thought I was gaining weight faster this time, but our last visit to the doctor at 15 weeks showed I still haven't gained any weight-but apparently my body has figured out how to redistribute it, because I have a little baby belly. The last time around we posted the first bump photos around 17 weeks I think, so this week I'll post another to compare. I don't think I'm actually that much bigger than last time now that I'm comparing, so maybe all is on the same track as Collin was.

But maybe the most obvious change is how we're preparing, or better described, not preparing. Life is moving at so much of a faster pace that its difficult to spend a ton of time perseverating over what crib and what not. But, I enjoy doing it, so late at night, in the weee hours of the morning I peruse the internet for baby bedding and other adorable paraphernalia.

This time I'm more relaxed when it comes to the rules too. I've eaten lunch meat (gasp), Feta and Goat Cheese (double gasp- although I was sure to make sure both were pasteurized), a bratwurst or two and a few glasses of good ol' Coke-a-Cola, with the caffeine. Still, all in very small moderation, but I'm letting go of all of the small things, one by one, for the benefit of my sanity and convenience.

I'm also way worse at keeping track. Last time, had you asked me on any given day of the 40 weeks how far along I was, I probably could have regurgitated days and weeks. Yes, sir, I'm 16 weeks 4 days today. Ha. ha.

Not the case this time. I'm lucky if I can guess what week we're in. Thank goodness for the online tracker on the bump.com, because that's about the only way I can confidently tell where we are. My guesses are much more general these days when people ask. "Oh, we're in the middle of the second trimester". Sorry, baby. I don't mean to be so aloof about how long you've been part of our world.

Now, here we are in the second trimester. So, at first this pregnancy seemed easier than the first, mostly, I think because I didn't have the time to be concerned or monitor every tiny development of what exactly was going on with the baby. I was chasing a toddler for goodness sakes, I barely have time to brush my teeth.

But lately, now that we are approaching the half way part I've had some guilt set in. I really haven't spent that much time thinking about this baby. Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited for his or her delivery, but at this time with Collin I felt connected to what was happening every week, I felt like I had a sense of how each little fingertip, each little kick was orchestrated to be part of our lives. This time, I feel as though I'm just now wondering, hey baby, how's it going in there. As a result, to make up for my lack of concern up until this point, I've suddenly become concerned about everything. I'm like a first time parent all over again.

Am I eating enough? Did I accidentally sleep on my back last night? Should I be holding Collin for such long periods of time? Is the strain on my back affecting the baby? Should I continue to let Collin use me as a human Jungle gym? Am I doing everything I can to ensure a healthy baby and delivery? The concerns rage on in my mind as I focus in on whats important for this baby, while juggling Collin's needs, our lives at home and work.

Well, you know what they say, all in a day's work, I suppose.

So at 17/18 weeks I find myself anticipating the 20 week ultrasound that not only will tell us if this little baby is a boy or a girl (my inclination says boy), but also confirms that the little kiddo inside me is happy, healthy and growing well. I can't wait to see him (or her) and take a bit of relief in with the joy of seeing the baby moving around, growing, kicking and enjoying the beginning of his or her journey to our family.