Collin Turns One

Dear Collin-
I continually wonder where the time has gone as you've grown, but facing one year has made that perspective a bit more intense and suddenly overwhelmingly heartbreaking. You're a toddler now and the baby in you disappears little by little everyday. I hang on to those moments, those brief glimpses of baby--those cuddles and snuggles like they are little bits of gold, but the more I try to find ways to hold tight to the baby in you, the more independence you assert.Its so difficult for me to reconcile as I encourage you to grow and shed small little tears about losing all of the baby in our lives.
Lately, we spend our days on great explorations. You are a sponge and your little brain is exploding with new information. Your inquisitive nature makes you incredibly interested in how the world works. You learn so quickly and are into everything. It took you a day to figure out how to quickly scale the stairs, 15 minutes to figure out how to use the bookcase to scale the shelves and 10 minutes to figure out how to throw your new favorite balls down the hallway in sequence so they happily bounce, bounce, bounce. You figured out how to open cupboards, how to crawl inside the space under the stairs and how to quickly chase us into territory you usually are prevented from being in when the opportunity is right(the storage room, the laundry room, in the refrigerator etc.). You take after your dad in so many ways- you are such a monkey, climbing everything.
You're now saying "dada" consistently, which makes daddy smile, as its taken you awhile to learn to say it, and you also babble all the time. You're a regular motormouth. You're vocabulary is expanding, and we can almost see you taking in so many new words and ideas every day as we label your world from top to bottom. Its incredible to see the gears in your little brain turn as you are learning and absorbing all of the fantastic pieces of your environment.

Your first birthday was eventful in many ways for us- you now have a shiny new playset with a swing, which you love, and you're now entering a stage of independence. Its almost as though you walked through a door on your first birthday and haven't looked back. We've had to introduce "discipline" to our vocabulary, as you test and test when it comes to things where we set boundaries- ingelectrical outlets, trying to play with the space heater in your room, throwing food off your tray to feed the dog. You try and try to find a way to explore things off limits, only to be crushed by our persistent "no"s. You cry and look to use for comfort, as if we've just betrayed you by telling you no so clearly.

You wake up every morning by standing tall in your crib and talking to me through the monitor. If could decipher what you are trying to communicate with your nonsensical words I'd image it was something like, "oh mama, hurry and come get me, I miss you!" as everyday when I lift you out you greet the day by giving me an enormous hug.

You still love books and look forward to reading new stories every day. You're trying lots of new foods as we try desperately hard to give you vegetables in any form. You love flavor, pesto and pasta, guacamole and sun-dried tomato and spinach sausage. You're so daring in many ways, but tasting vegetables is not one of them. When you don't like something you windshield wiper it off the tray of your highchair quickly supplying the dog with a buffet of flavors.
You've just finished your first semester at the little gym, and you've come such a long way. You love forward rolls and walking around wheel-barrow style. You love seeing your little friends every Saturday, and have learned to crawl and nearly walk all within the small, brief glimpse of your time together. The families there appreciate your smile and happiness, as its so very contagious.

We still don't let you watch television, and we really don't miss it. We enjoy spending time playing with you, teaching you animal sounds and body parts, working on your throwing skills and taking walks around the neighborhood, where three quarters of our neighbors look forward to seeing your smiling face.
Over the course of this year you've stolen my heart in ways that I didn't think were possible, you can melt me with your smile, send me in an instant panic with your tears and make me laugh with your silly little faces nearly everyday, from your frog sounds to the quick lizard tongue you've recently started to imitate.

Your personality is so much a blend of both of us. You have my excessive stubbornness- you'll sign only after I request it three or four times (although you're getting much better at this) and then provide the sign begrudgingly. You have your dad's sense of humor- you'll laugh at nearly anything that you can and find laughter entirely contagious, if we start laughing you pick up on it and it turns into pure hilarity.
You're growing so fast, and we're barely keeping up. Chasing you keeps us on our toes, and even though you're quickly escaping around every corner, we love seeing you grow.
At the end of 12 months I find myself wondering how the year passed so quickly and at the same time catching a glimpse of what the next year will bring. These past 12 months have added such joy to our lives, we can't imagine how we existed without you. Now that you are here its as though our capabilities to love have grown 10 fold, our patience has tripled and our life as a couple has turned into life as a family. We're so happy your here and we can't wait to see what the future holds.

Love,
Momma and Daddy