8 months

Dear Collin,
Today you are two weeks past eight months old, and while I had every intention of updating our family blog on your 8 month birthday, time once again has slipped through my fingers like sand, the harder I try to hold onto it, the quicker it seems to pass.

Everyday, I wake up, somewhere half past 7:00 and halfway to groggy, with you by my side, waiting anxiously for our day to start. As you snuggle in closer to me, trying to nuzzle your head into the soft folds of my shirt I breath in your sweet scent. Another day in your amazing life is about to begin. Your smile shines like sunbeams as you let me know, in babbles and coos just what we should be doing. I rise, and shine, with you on my hip and we make our way back to your room, where you take aim on the box of diapers and feverishly try to kick them off the dresser before I can pick them up. You usually win. Your happiness is contagious, and I can't resist the urge to begin our morning with a huge smile on my face as you sputter ma ma ma, and ya ya ya, peppered with "hi"s and mmms. Your speech is fantastic- your intonation and emphasis on your "words" makes how quickly you are taking hold of the world so apparent. You are a perfect example of the pure genius of babies, their sponge-like absorption of all things, and when I say "all things" I really do mean all. You notice everything, and only a moment after noticing you make every attempt to place anything tactile in your mouth, and anything not in your mouth as well. It is fun for us to watch you try to bite your reflection when you are close to the mirror.

You love food. You would feast on fruits if you could, fresh pieces of mango seem to suit you well, as you'll gnaw on them for as long as we'll let you. You use a sippy cup all by yourself, and have shed your Nuk's, save for naptime, bedtime and when in your carseat. You've just gained enough fine motor control to put the puffs in your mouth. It took you only four tries to learn how to manipulate your fingers to get them in your mouth- this steep little learning curve was fantastic to watch as you learned quickly just how to get the sweet treat on your tongue.

Your sleeping patterns are both a blessing and a curse. We've sleep trained you, well, actually, daddy sleep-trained you, and continues to be the one that puts you to bed. I worry that soon I will have to do it alone and you'll be so unfamiliar with me at bedtime that you won't go to sleep, but I let it go because watching you have such a fantastic time to bond with your daddy makes my heart swell with happiness. You take fantastic naps and go to bed a 7 pm, but you are up with daddy at 5:00 a.m. He quickly changes your diaper and places you in bed with me, where you smile so immensely, as if you had no idea I would be there, as I am every other day. You nurse and then fall back asleep, cuddled next to me for a brief hour or so, and this quite possibly, is my favorite part of day, as I get to watch you in all of your sweet innocence as you sleep so peacefully.

While you are awake you are on the move. Rolling everywhere, grabbing everything, but still refusing to crawl. I think you are channeling my stubbornness. Its true that it won't be long now though, as you are so anxious to get out of our arms and explore when we hold you. I can almost see the wheels turning as you think about how to get your hands on items, how to get close enough to grab something, or how to make your way around the carpet, off the pillow, over the blankets...

Your daddy and I are relaxing in our parenting strategies, we aren't like a family of Lions any longer, fiercely roaring at anyone who has not taken the proper precautions in your presence. Have you washed your hands? Is it organic? There isn't any sugar in that is there? Are you warm enough? Beware of over-stimulation, beware of being too quiet, beware of not talking to you enough, beware of every single developmental conundrum that any parent may experience and PREVENT it. Up until most recently we were in that place, protecting you with the mightiest roar from everyone who came within a few feet of you, even those with the very best intentions. We stalked predators: germs, sugar, pesticides, toxins, thalates...you name it, we likely prevented you from experiencing it. All in the name of keeping you safe. Its hard to understand the love a parent has for a child until you are a parent, but part of that love is knowing that you'll do ANYTHING to keep him safe. Really, we were in it for the extreme measure.

It seems though, at 8 months, your mischevious sense is leading us in a new direction that is more about letting you explore and less about protecting you from the world. You've made it this far as such a bright, inquisitive and happy little boy, we feel as though we're ready to let you start making your own way in the world. I've enrolled us in some ECFE classes to see the rest of the 8-12 month old world, and we've compromised making every single one of your meals for time with you, and GASP, we aren't fixating on every single ingredient in the jars of babyfood we do feed you (turns out calcium carbonate isn't bad for you)- although they are still all organic (we haven't given up our tendencies in haste).

Your inqusitiveness is amazing, you are interested in EVERYTHING. But mostly, your explorations leads you to determining just how things taste and fit in your mouth.

You love your puppy in a way that is both endearing, as you pat his belly, or cuddle into his fur, and hillarious, as you both find ways to play with each other. You crack up, hysterically, when Samson gooses you in your side and pushes you are in a circle with his nose. Its amazing to see how gentle he is with you (usually) and how he knows just the right amout of play to get your little laugh rolling.

You have two teeth now, YES 2! and you're becoming such a big boy that it breaks my heart to see you grow. Everyday I find myself pleading for you to slow down, to stay a baby. To wait just a little longer before you reach such big-boy proportions and gallop into toddlerhood on two feet.

At 8 months you've said "mama" and "dada" and in those moments my heart lept, nearly out of my body. Its incredible to hear your voice ask for us, want us, know that we are here. You're learning everyday, and we're enjoying watching every connection you make.

Its true that you are, simply put, amazing. Its amazing to see you smile, to see everyday how lucky we've been in life, how you are becoming someone with a voice, an independent effort to take your own path, an anxious and frustrated, excited and angry, happy and tired little boy- filled with emotions that share with us a glimpse of your reality- the richness of your daily life in the most basic daily occurrences. There you are, smiling, absorbing, continuing to grow. I can barely stand it. So cute, so inspiring, so filled with pure LOVE.

Bust mostly, you are 8 months. 8 months of life. 8 months of our lives we can't imagine not having. 8 months, 8 steps into our forever as a family. 8 months of sleepless nights, 8 months of anxious efforts to protect you, 8 months of love, 8 months of dreams of your future, 8 months of milestones, 8 months of learning with you how to be parents, how to guide you and how to soothe you. 8 months of shared book reading, 8 months of lullabyes, 8 months of dirty diapers. 8 months, of fantastic, amazing and wonderful you.

We love you, more than we ever thought we could.
Mommy & Daddy