A little life, a little love.

Our lives have been HECTIC lately. I mean, make sure you're wearing two socks that match at, oh, say 2:00 p.m., because that's when you finally got to it on your mental post-it, hectic. Or, better yet, eat the breakfast sausage that is burnt to small little charcoal fingers because a) you weren't paying attention when you cooked them as you juggled the scrambled eggs, keeping tiny little fingers out of the ketchup and unwrapping the tuft of your hair he has seemed to tie in a knot (didn't think you could actually tie hair in a knot? Guess again.), all while, say pouring juice and milk simultaneously, and b)you seem to have forgotten to eat today, and now at 7 p.m. are STARVING, so charcoal fingers, look, well, finger-lickin' good.

So when Valentine's Day started creeping up I tried desperately to push it back. To hold on to each day approaching V-day's last few minutes trying to make more time for myself. Drew, lovely husband that he is, made is SUPER EASY for me this year. I say that with sarcasm (insert it here.) As many of you know, I LOATHE easy gifts. I like to spend time picking them out, so when Drew announced that he wanted a battery for his motorcycle I was so excited that I nearly yawned. The problem was though, that this "let me hand you my present so you can hand it back to me" always makes me feel guilty, and then I feel like I have to find something to get him anyhow...

A week before V-day I was plagued with nay-sayer encounters. Now, I know that some people don't like Valentine's Day, but those love-less sticklers that insist its a "Hallmark Holiday" make me want to smush their little heads. I mean really? Is it that bad to share the love? Don't you think the sad state of affairs our country is in could use a little more love? No one said it had to be romantic. Going to work I heard some acquaintances tell me just how much they dislike having to "buy-in" to all the "crap". Who says you have to, though? Can't you make it about what you want,like, oh, say, the people you appreciate? Nay-sayers, pessimists, Negative Nancy's- you bug me. Fill your half-empty glass up! Enjoy life for 5 minutes or so. Geez.

Then there was Collin. The little bundle of love that I couldn't help but want to squeeze with hugs and kisses all day long. I couldn't skimp and not get something for him... I mean, HELLO, he is one of the two leading men in my life. So, as hectic goes, it was Saturday, and I had NADA. I decided to get Collin some books and Drew, well..., still nothing. Overcome with guilt I threw in the towel. There just wasn't any TIME! Where on earth does it all go?!?
I made a list of errands to run and was nearly out the door when Drew announced he and Collin wanted to go to (okay, I asked politely, assuming they'd say NO. But, of course they said YES, which foiled all my plans!). Away we went to do "errands" (read: undercover Valentine's day shopping). When we go to the bookstore we reasoned that Collin's memory won't ever bring him back to 8 months, and so we took him right over to the book section and picked out what we wanted with him in Drew's lap. Turned out to be 'real special'. ha ha. But, he did get two fantastic books: Shell Silverstien's Where the Sidewalk Ends- at Drew's request (he loves these poems) and Snuggle Puppy for the Sandra Boynton fans. Okay, for me. I am the Sandra Boynton fan.
As a little bird walk, we also have the Snuggle Puppy song, on the Boynton CD Philadelphia Chickens. Its ADORABLE and Collin loves it. You can click HERE to hear the song.
Anyway, back to Valentine's Day. So Collin got his books and he loves books, as you can see when he reads them:

But he also got some surprise love from afar. Grandma and Papa Wackerle sent him a box filled with lots of love, including this puppy that barks, some cute clothes and a beach towel for our upcoming trip to Susie and Chris's in Vegas.

On our shopping adventure Drew made me aware of the fact that he hadn't bought me a card yet. I thoughts YIPEE! I'm not a total LOSER. So, I told him he'd have to make me a card. P.S.- I LURVE homemade cards. They are so freakin' adorable. All the while I was thinking: I still have nothing for you, and you're still in the car, so I can't exactly go shopping for you. Boo to that. So home we went.
Valentine's day came. Sunday morning was filled with Sunshine and I woke up to Drew, holding a cute cute CUTE baby saying "happy valentine's day", and you know what? That was totally enough. I was happy. When your hottie husband comes to your side of the bed holding your baby, both smiling like you're the best thing since sliced bread- you can't help but feel incredibly content. And I was.
Then came the cards. And boy were they cute:

Drew and Collin also gave me some Klean Kanteens because I, being the genius of our family, managed to explode my Sigg water bottle, so I needed something new. I love the Kanteens. They are perfect. At this point I told Drew he had to wait for his card and "gift" until dinner because it was LAME-O. So, he patiently waited. Thats right, I did get him a card- I'm not that LAME-O. We spent the day being a family, hanging out, reading books, snuggling, and it felt really good to be happy, content, and satisfied in life.

Once Collin went to bed we ordered in from a local place- we had agreed to this weeks before so that would wouldn't need a sitter and we could be comfy-cozy at home. I had a fantastic steak and Drew has a steak salad meal that was also de-licious. (With lots of DE). I gave him a cute card nestled between sugar- Dots candies and Sour Patch Kids, because nothing can woo my husband like sugar. Then we watched one of the funniest movies I've seen in awhile. It wasn't even listed on Netflix as a comedy, but we loved it! Have you seen it? Its called Away We Go. Maybe it was so funny because we know people just like the ones in the movie. But the absolute most funny part was this cute little skit:
I pretty much fall on the floor laughing every time we watch it. Its HIlarious. So, we thoroughly enjoyed the movie, we enjoyed each other and spent time being happy. Pretty darn happy actually. As it turns out a little bit of love goes a long way, and this year on Valentine's Day we didn't need anything but each other to feel our hearts collectively smile.
So happy Valentine's Day.
Spread the Love.
Fill your cup until it runeth over!

What to Expect...

I bet you all thought I was about to write "when you are expecting". ha ha. No such luck, dear reader. In fact, this post is about just the opposite.

If finding out we were pregnant with Collin we diligently went to the book store and bought the baby bible: What to Expect when you are Expecting. For those of you who have not read this book, it chronicles pregnancy week by week with all the intended milestones and possible ailments you can have during those 40 weeks. Its useful, until that is you pass about week 44 (4 weeks post partum), where it happily announces: "If you've somehow escaped post-partum depression, then HURRAY! Let the party begin!". Okay, so it doesn't really say that, but it might as well.

Then there is the book, What to Expect the First Year. You guessed it, a developmental guide to your child's growth and development.

What no one tells you pre-pregnancy is that there is a secret missing book that NO ONE has written. Its called "What to Expect Post-Pregnancy: The south of the border edition."


Seriously. 8.5 months after having a baby my body STILL hates me. Most particularly, its lead to recent surgery, which I will avoid sharing about because there has to be somewhere to draw the line on this blog. Consider it HERE.

Not too long ago I was at a little gathering, a few days after my surgery, with about 15 or so women, who kindly asked how I was recuperating. This was very nice of them, and I politely responded that I had some surgery in a nether region area and was doing well. I think almost ALL of the women who have had babies shook their heads with a knowing sigh and commented that they too might know exactly what I was going through... REALLY? There are that many of us? And nobody has written a book yet? Good Lord. My convenience sample, with a small n might be biased, but it sure got me thinking.

In the cheery world of parenting I realize I am supposed to look at my happy baby, smile, and think how it all was so worth it. Which I do. But it sure doesn't make me just forget about all of the side-effects. From skin problems, to south of the border issues, to dietary restrictions and weight, I've just about had my fill. This is the face I have for you, side effects. I bite my thumb at you...er, fist! (Shakespeare at his best).
I feel like I am finally regaining a little bit of ground, as I am no longer shedding like a Saint Bernard (thank you very much hormones), and my skin is starting not to resemble that of a 16 year old. Hello size 6 pants, thanks for making an appearance in my life again, your friends, sizes 8 and pregnancy size 10 have filled my closet. Where exactly should I put your posse of clothes friends now that you are back? Its likely you'll bring them out to play the next time we have a baby, so I'll be sure not to hand them off to the greater GoodWill. Please stay awhile, really.
Not to mention the permanent changes. Like, whose body is this? Because the shape sure isn't mine. I've never had this figure, and now, it appears here to stay. A whole new wardrobe was need because all of my shirts were too tight, and all of my pants didn't have the room for my hips- since I used to wear straight legs pants- since I used to not have any hips or butt. But, here they are. And they really aren't too bad, except for that they leave me broke because of that whole new wardrobe thing.
So, sorry for complaining, but somewhere out there, there is an author sitting on a very lucrative market for a book that tells you how to navigate all of this hoopla. I've already given you a title! I'd put my money on it selling like hotcakes. But until then, I'll illustrate my disgust with one of Collin's many faces. Here's to YOU ailments, issues and other nether region difficulties-

You've worn your welcome out and its time to go home.

Now you see it, now you don't.

For my family, who think that maybe Collin doesn't look so much like his dad. Maybe he looks like me?

Here are some of Collin's latest photos.

Can you see my two new little teeth?

And here I am, as a tiny little tike.

What do you think? More Drew or more me in our little guy?

8 months

Dear Collin,
Today you are two weeks past eight months old, and while I had every intention of updating our family blog on your 8 month birthday, time once again has slipped through my fingers like sand, the harder I try to hold onto it, the quicker it seems to pass.

Everyday, I wake up, somewhere half past 7:00 and halfway to groggy, with you by my side, waiting anxiously for our day to start. As you snuggle in closer to me, trying to nuzzle your head into the soft folds of my shirt I breath in your sweet scent. Another day in your amazing life is about to begin. Your smile shines like sunbeams as you let me know, in babbles and coos just what we should be doing. I rise, and shine, with you on my hip and we make our way back to your room, where you take aim on the box of diapers and feverishly try to kick them off the dresser before I can pick them up. You usually win. Your happiness is contagious, and I can't resist the urge to begin our morning with a huge smile on my face as you sputter ma ma ma, and ya ya ya, peppered with "hi"s and mmms. Your speech is fantastic- your intonation and emphasis on your "words" makes how quickly you are taking hold of the world so apparent. You are a perfect example of the pure genius of babies, their sponge-like absorption of all things, and when I say "all things" I really do mean all. You notice everything, and only a moment after noticing you make every attempt to place anything tactile in your mouth, and anything not in your mouth as well. It is fun for us to watch you try to bite your reflection when you are close to the mirror.

You love food. You would feast on fruits if you could, fresh pieces of mango seem to suit you well, as you'll gnaw on them for as long as we'll let you. You use a sippy cup all by yourself, and have shed your Nuk's, save for naptime, bedtime and when in your carseat. You've just gained enough fine motor control to put the puffs in your mouth. It took you only four tries to learn how to manipulate your fingers to get them in your mouth- this steep little learning curve was fantastic to watch as you learned quickly just how to get the sweet treat on your tongue.

Your sleeping patterns are both a blessing and a curse. We've sleep trained you, well, actually, daddy sleep-trained you, and continues to be the one that puts you to bed. I worry that soon I will have to do it alone and you'll be so unfamiliar with me at bedtime that you won't go to sleep, but I let it go because watching you have such a fantastic time to bond with your daddy makes my heart swell with happiness. You take fantastic naps and go to bed a 7 pm, but you are up with daddy at 5:00 a.m. He quickly changes your diaper and places you in bed with me, where you smile so immensely, as if you had no idea I would be there, as I am every other day. You nurse and then fall back asleep, cuddled next to me for a brief hour or so, and this quite possibly, is my favorite part of day, as I get to watch you in all of your sweet innocence as you sleep so peacefully.

While you are awake you are on the move. Rolling everywhere, grabbing everything, but still refusing to crawl. I think you are channeling my stubbornness. Its true that it won't be long now though, as you are so anxious to get out of our arms and explore when we hold you. I can almost see the wheels turning as you think about how to get your hands on items, how to get close enough to grab something, or how to make your way around the carpet, off the pillow, over the blankets...

Your daddy and I are relaxing in our parenting strategies, we aren't like a family of Lions any longer, fiercely roaring at anyone who has not taken the proper precautions in your presence. Have you washed your hands? Is it organic? There isn't any sugar in that is there? Are you warm enough? Beware of over-stimulation, beware of being too quiet, beware of not talking to you enough, beware of every single developmental conundrum that any parent may experience and PREVENT it. Up until most recently we were in that place, protecting you with the mightiest roar from everyone who came within a few feet of you, even those with the very best intentions. We stalked predators: germs, sugar, pesticides, toxins, thalates...you name it, we likely prevented you from experiencing it. All in the name of keeping you safe. Its hard to understand the love a parent has for a child until you are a parent, but part of that love is knowing that you'll do ANYTHING to keep him safe. Really, we were in it for the extreme measure.

It seems though, at 8 months, your mischevious sense is leading us in a new direction that is more about letting you explore and less about protecting you from the world. You've made it this far as such a bright, inquisitive and happy little boy, we feel as though we're ready to let you start making your own way in the world. I've enrolled us in some ECFE classes to see the rest of the 8-12 month old world, and we've compromised making every single one of your meals for time with you, and GASP, we aren't fixating on every single ingredient in the jars of babyfood we do feed you (turns out calcium carbonate isn't bad for you)- although they are still all organic (we haven't given up our tendencies in haste).

Your inqusitiveness is amazing, you are interested in EVERYTHING. But mostly, your explorations leads you to determining just how things taste and fit in your mouth.

You love your puppy in a way that is both endearing, as you pat his belly, or cuddle into his fur, and hillarious, as you both find ways to play with each other. You crack up, hysterically, when Samson gooses you in your side and pushes you are in a circle with his nose. Its amazing to see how gentle he is with you (usually) and how he knows just the right amout of play to get your little laugh rolling.

You have two teeth now, YES 2! and you're becoming such a big boy that it breaks my heart to see you grow. Everyday I find myself pleading for you to slow down, to stay a baby. To wait just a little longer before you reach such big-boy proportions and gallop into toddlerhood on two feet.

At 8 months you've said "mama" and "dada" and in those moments my heart lept, nearly out of my body. Its incredible to hear your voice ask for us, want us, know that we are here. You're learning everyday, and we're enjoying watching every connection you make.

Its true that you are, simply put, amazing. Its amazing to see you smile, to see everyday how lucky we've been in life, how you are becoming someone with a voice, an independent effort to take your own path, an anxious and frustrated, excited and angry, happy and tired little boy- filled with emotions that share with us a glimpse of your reality- the richness of your daily life in the most basic daily occurrences. There you are, smiling, absorbing, continuing to grow. I can barely stand it. So cute, so inspiring, so filled with pure LOVE.

Bust mostly, you are 8 months. 8 months of life. 8 months of our lives we can't imagine not having. 8 months, 8 steps into our forever as a family. 8 months of sleepless nights, 8 months of anxious efforts to protect you, 8 months of love, 8 months of dreams of your future, 8 months of milestones, 8 months of learning with you how to be parents, how to guide you and how to soothe you. 8 months of shared book reading, 8 months of lullabyes, 8 months of dirty diapers. 8 months, of fantastic, amazing and wonderful you.

We love you, more than we ever thought we could.
Mommy & Daddy