Not too long ago I listened to a Ted talk that argued that
we are not the same people we were 10 years ago. That is, the speaker argued if
we measure ourselves against external metrics as a “self today” and “self 10
years ago”, they’d be entirely different people profiles. It’s probably true.
He went on to argue that even in 5 years a whole profile can begin and end.
It’s interesting to think about that story as I reflect on
Collin’s first 5 years, because for me, 5 years seems like such a blink. It
feels so recent. Yet for Collin, 5 years has made a world of difference. It’s a
strange thing how time affects us all so differently.
Here we are then again, 5 years into my baby boy’s life.
Dear Collin,
It has been 5 years since the warm sunny day you made your
way into this world. You greeted the sunshine with your very own glow of
happiness. Since were born you’ve carried happiness in your heart. Always with
a smile and effervescent excitement to be with people. Always a twinkle in your
eye.
At 5 years old you’ve brought so much joy to our lives. You
are at the cusp of fully discovering your own identity, I think. A journey
that’s taken all 5 years. There are
magic moments that happen more often these days where I see you take all of the
things you’ve learned over the past 5 years and make independent decisions that
are characteristic of your own style, your own connection to empathy, and your
own personality. I find myself beaming with pride more often these days than I
ever have in your life. Sometimes I wonder how we got so lucky.
Of course, it wasn’t (and isn’t) always roses and
butterflies. There were times when I wondered if you could possibly be any more
impulsive, or wondered if you actually had a hearing issue because I was making
requests five times before you seemed to even acknowledge them. I wondered what
on Earth we were doing wrong, or why you evaded my dozen or so strategies to
modify your behavior.
That’s the thing about parenting. When you have a baby the
common notion is that you should know what you are doing, but the reality is
everyone is learning all the time. And we were learning all the time. We still
are. We’re a bit better at it now though. I’m glad we made our first journey of
it with you--you’ve been a pretty gentle teacher.
At 5 years old it’s hard to describe what you are like
because there are so many things, so many facets that make up your personality.
I’ll try to capture the things that stand out, but I’m confident there are new
exciting parts of you hiding just below the surface now, waiting for the ripe
moment to become part of who you are.
So often you share your compassion with the world. Everyday,
somewhere within the time we share I hear you spontaneously say, “guess what
mama?”, “I love you”. Its so sweet and endearing and I’m so proud that you
carry empathy and compassion as such a strong characteristic in your heart.
You are wanderer by nature. You flit and flee from thought
to thought. I have to admit it took me a long time to figure out how to see
this as a strength. It used to drive me crazy that your attention was so
fleeting and that I couldn’t get you to focus intensely on any one thing for
more than 10 minutes or so. It wasn’t until I took a step back and realized you
are JUST LIKE ME- easily distractible and always observing that I could see it
as something more than a challenge. At the same time, when you are moving your
attention elsewhere, you are often problem solving on the spot, which is hard
to fault you for. So your wandering ways, in some regard reflect your intense
curiosity in the world, your love for exploring new things and for finding new
ways to explore, which is a great way to approach life, I think.
You are inquisitive and curious about science and nature.
You love being outside, you love worms, and dirt, plants and bugs, dinosaurs
and lizards. You adore going to the nature center and the aquarium, camping and
heading to parks and you’d spend all day there if I’d let you. Its amazing to see
you follow behind your dad, excited for trips to the greenhouses at the
University, doing “science” in the garden by finding worms and observing them.
Helping to prepare and plant the garden. If I had to guess I think you’d say
the outside was made for you, your perfect complement.
You are affectionate. Every day I hear you say “can I have a
hug” and you still snuggle up when I head to your bed to read a story. You
snuggle in next to my neck, grab your favorite pillow (turtle pillow, still),
and listen intently to the stories of the night; usually four- two from me and
two from your dad. You are patient and curious about books.
You are a reader. Knowing letters and sounds, putting them
together in words, comes easily to you. I work with you on preparing for
kindergarten, and you yawn and give me the “do I really have to” look when I
ask you to read. You often guess words correctly, which surprises me and makes
me wonder how much you know that you aren’t telling us! You love to have things
read to you and I imagine in the near future you’ll start independently reading
of your own volition.
You are kind and generous of heart. You say hello to
everyone we know, regardless of where we are or the circumstances. Sometimes I have to remind you that not
everyone can stop to chat all the time. You are willing to try though, and I
often hear you say “Hi (friend)! How are you?” from across the parking lot, or
through the aisles of Target.
You are a concerned citizen of our world. Everything has to
have a purpose and reason, and you are so insatiably curious that you constantly
are trying to figure it all out. This weekend it was about mosquitos. “Momma,
God made mosquitos on accident.”
Me: “No Collin, lots of others animals eat mosquitos, so it
wasn’t an accident.”
Collin: “But momma, they bite us and we are trying to kill
them all. “
Me. “True, but that’s only because we don’t like them. Its
not reason enough for them not to be on Earth.”
Collin: “If we kill them all will they not be on Earth.”
Me: “Killing the ones in our tent is not them all. There are
millions of mosquitos. Don’t worry.”
Mostly though, there are hundreds of ways you are unique and
amazing, but now, in its all in the context of being 5. I can barely believe
it. When I see you now, a little pang in my heart makes me wonder how soon it
will be that you are ten, and I’m looking back fondly, with another profile of
our life.
Happy birthday baby boy. We love you so very much.
Momma and Daddy
Posts
