Training Days...

These days we're doing all sorts of training in our house. The first variety was sleep training during nap. This was such a fiasco when we started it. If you are curious about how it was going, go back a month or so on the blog and read about the terrible mom I was as I tried to ferberized Collin during nap time. It didn't work, and instead I turned my adorable toddler into an anxious and sad little boy during naptime. It was awful. On the day I decided to curse Ferber and give it up forever the following happened: just as we were about to go into Collin's room to get ready for naptime, before I had even sat down to read a story, he clung to me and started crying. He had gotten so worked up about naptime that just entering his room during that time caused him tremendous anxiety. It was awful. That day I decide to forget the Ferber "cry it out" method, even if it meant wrangling two babies at once until Drew got home. I couldn't handle making Collin so sad. Imagine this face, stained with tears yelling through his sobs: Momma! No, Momma! Rock momma, please rock momma! It was HEART WRENCHING.

That night, I turned to our tried and true guide for sleep training- Kim West's Good Night Sleep Tight. We used her "sleep lady shuffle" with Collin when he 6 months old or so. I didn't think it would work for naptime because it requires that you slowly move out of the room and I worried that having Owen with me, his crying (or potential to cry) would keep Collin awake. But here we were, struggling to figure out how to get Collin to nap on his own, at our wits ends, so I was willing to try anything. I should have just used what worked from the beginning and avoided the whole "worst mom in the world" fiasco.

The sleep lady shuffle worked like a charm. Not one tear. Not one rebellious effort. He was reassured that I was close by and willing to go to sleep, making for an easy nap time after a week and a half of "shuffling". Live and learn, I guess. I should have just listened to my gut to begin with and stayed clear of the crying game...er, Ferber method. Stupid Ferber.

At the same time Collin decided it was time to be potty-trained. Which really is such a surprise to us, but, whatever. We're running with it. Its difficult to be potty training with an infant because I spend the whole day dealing with someone's poop or pee, either in the bathroom or on the changing table, but we're making good progress. Today we tried out the "big boy undies" which Collin loves because they have Thomas the Train on them. I'm hoping that wearing them around the house helps him figure out how to tell us he has to go. We'll see where we are in a few weeks...


So, while we are on the topic of training, does anyone have any tips on how to train your dog not to bark? Because that's about the only type of training we aren't doing right now, and its not because we don't want to, its because we think our dog is hopeless :)

If nothing else, all this training has reminded me how much children need our patience. Time and again I had to take a step back and just laugh at the pee/poop/toilet paper/wipes all over the bathroom floor/potty/Collin's pants and remind myself that all in good time....

Happy Valentine's Day

This year, being that we are in the midst of organized chaos, we decided not to do much for Valentine's day besides exchange cards. I barely had time to get dressed on Valentine's day, let alone figure out how to get a sitter, get ready to go out and keep everybody under 2 happy. It was a bit too much. Nevertheless, we did have two exceptionally adorable valentines in our house: one heartbreaker,
and another sweet pea,

both have stolen my heart and taught me that I have more love to give than I ever thought possible. So happy Valentine's Day.
For the dreamers,
the lovers,
and well, Me. Because I believe in the happiness this holiday brings :)

In Our World....

Owen is 6 weeks old now, and we're settling into our life together. Getting here has been quite a journey, but I'm glad we've finally arrived. Owen is finally starting to "wake up", spending his time looking around, observing our world and interacting with his doting brother, Collin.Owen still doesn't have a real schedule yet, but he's sleeping longer at night, from about 10 pm to 3:30 am, creeping toward the coveted 8 hour stretch (but still oh, so far away), and he's becoming much more aware of our daily comings and goings. He has an adorable smile, which we've seen since he was just a week old, but now it is clearly social. he's also started to "coo" and chatter, and is quickly learning how to hold up his little head and track toys as Collin shows them to him.We continue to try to figure out the whole co-sleeping thing, but now I'm at least confident once he sleeps through he'll be in his bassinet, so I'm a bit more relaxed about it. As it turns out though, Owen does great in the co-sleeper bassinet that goes in our bed-- it continues to be my own problem in that I frequently fall asleep when he wakes up to eat at 3:30 am and don't put him back in the co-sleeper. Its true, I'm a lazy parent.

We're starting to be more consistent about tummy time, even though he doesn't seem to need it much, as Owen is quite the mover and shaker. He cranes his little neck and kicks out his legs often, as though he knows he'll need to use them to support his weight. A little early practice I suppose. He moves around the bassinet often and when I get him out sometimes I'm amazed how far he's moved without being able to roll or crawl.

Owen continues to be a good eater, I'm sure he's gained a considerable amount of weight, we'll be able to find out exactly how much at his two month appointment in just a few weeks. However, we do wonder if Owen has reflux, he often coughs, has wet hiccups, spits up a ton and has trouble burping and passing gas, but he doesn't have the hallmark of reflux, crying or pain while eating. Instead, he's quite a happy baby-- who spits up.Our daily lives have reached a comfortable ebb and flow. Sadly, it seems I have to get up at 6:15 a.m. to get ahead of the boys, and between potty training (yes, we really are potty training) and changing and feeding Owen its a struggle to get out of the house by 9 am, but we try. With the winter bearing down on us, I try to get Collin out of the house almost every day to keep my sanity. Being cooped up in our house makes for a bit of the crazies....

It seems like Owen is growing faster that I can keep up with, maybe because our days go by so fast. I feel like I barely get a chance to eat lunch, let alone slow down and enjoy the boys in a way that is slow and steady, instead its toddler nuttiness and Owen and I trying to keep up with the pace. I definitely have considerable guilt that I don't spend as much one on one time with Owen as I'd like to, just as a function of how our lives work. I was a bit of a closet guiltress, but then I learned its an epidemic. Turns out there is a whole "syndrome" of second child guilt. There are chat rooms, Mom's club groups, probably even a support network. So I don't feel as terribly awful because its the unknown secret about having two kids under two. You just can't attend to them both all the time. There is no way around it, someone doesn't get all the attention, and I constantly feel conflicted that its Owen more than Collin because Collin has the ability to whine and make verbal requests. While Owen's cries are quickly soothed as soon as I pick him up. I feel like Owen is saying: "HELLO! Pay attention! I'm awake and need some time to play too!"

Meanwhile, our house is a mess. I've resigned to the fact that it won't be clean again for awhile. A friend posted this quote, and I think it fits perfectly with our life:

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

But we'd don't mind so much, as I have two amazing boys to play with. As Owen gets older we get better at the day to day, but its also bittersweet because it means I'm getting closer and closer to having to head back to work.

Owen turns One Month Old!

Thats a lot of "O"s.
Other "Oh!'s" in our life include learning all about this little guy- for the past month we've been on quite a roller coaster, but here we are! We've made it all whole month with two boys under 2.

Owen is so very precious, and is still an amazingly good baby. Its sort of crazy how good he is. Its the mommy in this picture who is doing the struggling, he seems to be happy and content nearly all the time. At one month we've learned quite a bit about little O (also affectionately called little bug, Otter, Merwin Otter, peanut) and his likes and dislikes.

First "Oh"-, he likes to cuddle (which makes me happy, because who doesn't like to cuddle an adorable baby boy?)

Second "Oh"- he HATES getting his diaper and clothes changed- maybe because we live in the frozen tundra where its something like 2 degrees outside most of the time?

Third "Oh" - He goes through clothes like a teenager in a Holister store. Owen is a good eater, but is pretty "spitty", he often spits up and burps like an old man. As a result, Collin walks around checking on Collin saying "Spit up?", "Spit up?"

Fourth "Oh"- as in "Oh my!"- He is now starting to respond to us a bit more, and will track toys, our hands and voices when he's awake. Its adorable to see his little eyes light up. The trick is to get him to stay awake, which leads us to number 5.

Fifth "Oh"- so very sleepy!- this baby LOVES to sleep all the time. I know I should cherish these moments of quiet around the house, but its amazing how difficult it has been for me to figure out a schedule for him because if it were his way it would look something like eat, cuddle, sleep, poop, repeat. Notice that none of these activities really need to be done outside of our bed (since he wears a diaper and I am the food source)- so he's basically content to just stay in bed all day. We haven't tried this, but I bet he would love it.

Sixth "Oh" is for OWL. As in night owl. Turns out he loves to sleep all day, and be very annoyed with me all night if I don't co-sleep with him, which leads to other issues we'll discuss later on...
Seventh (and final) "Oh"is for outstretch. This little guy uses his neck like he part of a giraffe family. Sometimes I call him Yertle Turtle because he pops his head up and cranes his little neck around. Its very cute.

So we've come a long way, but, there is still a long way to go. I'm still struggling to figure out a schedule and I'm pretty sure this is my own fault because Owen is content with pretty much anything, I'm the one who can't seem to be consistent. Some days we get up at 7 am with Collin, other days we sleep in until 9 while Drew gets Collin up...some nights he sleeps mostly in the bassinet, while others I fall asleep feeding him at our midnight feeding and he ends up staying in bed with me. Its pretty much a crap shoot how the day(and night) will go around here, and as a result I can't tell you if Owen tends to have a schedule, because I've been too erratic.This all makes for fun parenting strategies.

Back to the co-sleeping thing. This is one of my biggest struggles because I'm not really an advocate of co-sleeping. In fact, I'm uber paranoid about it. I'm afraid I'll suffocate him or roll over on him or something to that effect. At first it was so alarming that I wasn't really getting much sleep, I was too worried, but now a month later my body is a bit more relaxed and I'm sleeping, which is like a sick cycle of paranoia all over again because the more I relax, the more I think something awful will indeed happen because I am relaxed, and thus become even more paranoid and think I MUST get this baby OUT OF MY BED. But, everynight, I get him out of his bassinet to feed him, tell myself I will stay awake to put him back in the bassinet after feeding him, and hours later awake to a baby sleeping soundly next to me and me thinking again "Oh SHIT. I did it AGAIN. PLEASE PLEASE be fine," and when I find out once again that Owen is indeed fine, happily snuggled up next to me, I'm right back where I started. Talk about inner conflict. Its awful.


Otherwise, things are great though, really :)

Owen's first month has gone by so quickly, and with two little boys running/laying around I'm constantly feeling guilty about neglecting one of them. Its a balance that I'm still working to figure out. Owen has been such a blessing to our life, a reminder of all of the tiny miracles that occur everyday in this world. He's so small and helpless, but draws out so much love from our family as we each try in our own ways to connect and bond with him. I can't wait to see him grow, but also see him build those bonds with Drew and Collin-- being out numbered in a house full of boys has its perks, and one of those is being able to admire from the outside the father to son and brother to brother relationships that will blossom.

NewsFLASH: He Pooped on the POTTY!

Well this deserves it's very own post, where we run through the neighborhood screaming at the top of our lungs with utter excitement and joy:

HE POOPED ON THE POTTY!!!

As it turns out, we didn't realize that we were potty training Collin. I mean, we have a "potty", and he's been interested in it, but we didn't think we'd really start training him until this summer, as all professionals regarding the activity suggested that the absolute WORST time to start potty training is when a sibling is born. So we weren't even really thinking about it. But, apparently Collin was.

This week, while Drew's been home, we've been saying things like "you wouldn't have to lay on the changing table like this if you went on the potty..." when he's squirming like a little lizard. We were throwing out these phrases to get him to listen to us and lay still, not really thinking he'd take it to heart. Well, it turns out he did. So on Tuesday, after another trying nap time adventure (that's an entirely separate post!) he said "Poop!" and went and walked into the bathroom. This is interesting I thought, but hey, if he's leading the way, we'll try. So we did, and low and behold, he (insert celebratory music here) POOPED ON THE POTTY.

Hooray! I was so happy that I forgot all about the horrible horrible parent I've been during naptime...(and then I remembered an hour or so later :(, its awful. )

So, we're still not really "potty training", we're more like waiting for Collin to lead us along and do it himself. I've always heard that boys usually train later (like after 2 years old) and are more difficult to train, so I'm a bit skeptical that our 20 month old is pushing us to let him go on the potty. On Wednesday we put him on the potty a few times and he actually tried to go...we'll see how tomorrow goes, but again, we're not pushing it. But, being the school psychologist I am, you can bet I set up a reinforcement schedule that should be powerful enough to keep him glued to the potty all day. We're happy to play it up when he wants to go, books, stickers and a treat for success, now and again, will hopefully pave the way.

We're super lucky to have such a wonderful little boy who's maybe deciding out with the diapers and in with the new (underpants!).

Did I mention HE POOPED ON THE POTTY!!!?

Its downright fantastic.