A school Psychologist's Christmas in a basement

Note to our dear readers: This posting is from about 3 weeks ago. It seems it never actually posted. So it really only makes sense if you read it as though it was December 20th or so.

Sounds so sinister and dark. Like the little space Harry Potter lives in under the stairs. But, alas, the basement is finished and now looks like the rest of our house! Drew's mom was here a few weekends ago for graduation and made a little video of the space. We liked it so much we wanted to put it on the blog. Beware of a bit of sea-sickness though, the camera turns frequently, so either flip your laptop or try to stick with it so you can see all we've done. See for yourself how our Christmas tree and basement turned out (and a small cameo appearance from my mom).

Isn't my husband handy? Its hard to believe we (and by we I mean he) did it all ourselves. I only did the tile, and the only thing we hired out was the carpet, because lets face it, who knows how to lay carpet?
In the video you can see our little Christmas tree. Our first real one. I'm very excited to share our new space with the little baby come May.

We're now in the 17th week, creeping up on the 5th month (20 weeks) and I'm finally starting to get a little belly. It seems our little baby Hollman likes to hang out on my left side and in the morning makes the most action as I often wake up to a bizarre sensation and my belly feeling rather hard, suggesting he, or she, is moving around in there. We haven't had an ultrasounds in quite a bit because our last visit was with an alternate doctor since Dr. Olson was on vacation (and the office forgot not to schedule her that day). On the 5th wee get to find out what the baby is, so if you're itching to see the little baby Hollman you'll have to wait at least until then. However, if you're interested in what happens at 17 weeks, here's a random sample via the magic of YouTube. Again, its NOT our baby, but it does make you wonder how ultrasound technicians can tell so much from these hard to decipher videos. Toward the end you can see the little guy, or girl really move around. Thank goodness I'm not feeling those kicks and punches just yet.

So on to the school psychology perspective. The kids at both my schools now know that I'm going to have a baby, although since I'm not showing some are a little skeptical. Because I work with many kids who don't have the verbal filter we all use so graciously, here are a few of the fun quotes I've heard about being pregnant and having the baby:
- After letting a small group of kids know I'm pregnant, one boys said,
"Well, who's the father?"
- After telling a student during a one on one session that I'll have a baby
before the end of the year, he said, "Well that's a bad idea. Summer break is
at the end of the year. You know you can't even go on summer vacation if you have a baby?"
- "You know, you still have to do your work even if you are going to have a baby. My mom used that once as an excuse to stay home and she said she had to do double the work!"
- After commenting on me not gaining weight for a few weeks, 2 students announced "hey, you're starting to have a baby belly. You're getting fat. I can tell."
As the days at work go on and kids become more aware of the baby their comments are more common and just crack me up. I can't wait to hear what they have to say when I'm near the end of the pregnancy. Oh, the joys of being a school psychologist.

Baby Hollman's first graduation

This past Friday I made my final walk across the stage to receive my PhD, which coincidentally, is little Baby Hollman's first trot across the stage, albeit in the wrong order. However, it is fun to say that our baby is one of a mere few who has been hooded for a doctor of philosophy at the ripe age of 4 months. Top that baby Einstein! Where exactly did you walk at 4 months??? Harvard?? Ha.
So here's our little family, with the annoying mortar board (which makes me look ridiculous) and without, for your comparative viewing pleasure.

The ceremony made it feel at that more final, and afterward for about 5 minutes my family called me Dr. Wackerle-Hollman. I'm fairly sure its the only 5 minutes of my life that I'll hear that out of them. Being hooded was specifically special as it marked the final crossing over of my educational career, and by crossing over I mean going from the place where you accept financial aid to the place where you pay off your financial aid.
Having our family in town for graduation was tons of fun and we were extra blessed to have my grandma make the flight from Michigan to be there for graduation. We entertained them all thoroughly for the weekend by taking them to local eateries (which they seemed to enjoy much more than the Bay City Apple Bees and Saginaw Outback Steakhouse- their local fine dining establishments). There were oohs and ahhs over everything from catfish to frog legs. Then we were off to the Holidazzle parade, which for Minnesotan's is our version of a winter walking celebration, with lights, holiday cheer and negative temperatures. Wee children brave the frigid temps to catch a glimpse of Santa at the end of the parade as they align Nicollet Mall nearly frozen in place because their layers of winter-wear prevent fluid mobility. The kids make all of the adults viewing from their toasty windows (my family included) feel like sissies for not being able to handle the frostbite and hypothermia that comes will seeing the parade eye to eye. Children are so darn resistant and fearless. I couldn't help but imagine our little family bundled up and huddled around a light post hoping to steal the measly amount of heat a halogen lamp might produce on a -15 degree evening. What happy thoughts :)

Then on Saturday we went to the cathedral at 8 in the morning for mass joining the sparse set of the other 55 Minnesotan's who were silly enough to get up that early to go to an ice cold cathedral to see its enormity and listen to a stone-cold mass without music. Silly us. And, what does mass do to a frozen catholic? (besides light a little fire under our asses). Stir up a good sense of hunger of course. On to more eateries. Once we'd stuffed ourselves we made our way back to our home for afternoon naps and then feasted again in the evening, dinner theater style, before a viewing of "A Christmas Carole Peterson" at the Ordway Theater. We arrived home about quarter to 11 on Saturday, put everyone to bed and sent them on their way back to Michigan early Sunday morning. Phew! That was exhausting just writing it down.

All along the way we were happy to have my family and Drew's mom here. It was fun to imagine how exciting it will be to have a little baby among the mix and we look forward to next holiday season with a little one crawling about. Since Baby Hollman has already graduated, with a PhD no less, we'll be expecting great things, so maybe by his or her first Christmas he or she will be able to recite Christmas carols, or maybe write a fantastic Christmas toast. I can't wait to see what comes next year. Then again maybe our baby will defy our aspiration and spend Christmas with drooling as his or her most fantastic talent. Only time will tell. We'll love Baby Hollman all the same whatever comes along during the next holiday season.

Christmas Wish

This weekend was particularly hard in our home, as our puppy, Granola passed away on Friday. Granola was an amazing dog, who always was full of energy and love. People always commented on how well-behaved she was and she was incredibly full of life. She loved marshmallows and popcorn. She preferred people food to dog food, so much so that she would push her bowl of dog food into the wall and get it stuck so she couldn't eat it. She was silly. She was warm and cuddly. She loved sitting in front of the heat vent, cuddling up in her favorite white blanket and pushing Drew and I off of the couch. But most of all she loved us unconditionally. So we're a bit heartbroken, and miss her so much already.

About 3 or so months ago we learned that Granola had both an arrhythmia of the heart and heart disease, which meant that her heart couldn't pump efficiently and was beating erratically. The combination of these things, as well as with her age and other ailments gave her a grim prognosis- the cardiologist told us she'd have six months to live. Yet, in all honesty, I truly expected her to surpass the 6 months. No one seemed to have told her she had a heart condition. She still was so happy and active. She'd go just about nuts when she arrived at the park, and as hard as we tried to prevent her from getting excited, she still bolted outside to find the nearest squirrel or stick to gnaw on. Her excitement for the small things was contagious. She loved to chase tennis balls but not return them. Without fail every time we went to Milwaukee she forced her nose into a rain gutter to see if the squirrel who had been there years ago, was still indeed there.

A few weeks ago we took our annual Christmas card photos. This year we decided to feature Granola, so we placed the letters to 'Happy Holidays' around her neck and took photos of her doing what she does best- playing at the park. She was excited to be there, and best of all she found an enormous stick, which she quickly devoured- with pleasure. She loved the park. There were other dogs to smell at the park, things to pee on, small children to play with and lots of geese to chase. At the time, we didn't realize it, but these photos were a blessing in disguise. We now have lots of candid shots of Granola, and we can look back on them with lots of love and admiration. We'll cherish this year's card more than we usually do, as its our last photos with our adorable puppy.

Granola was the type of dog that followed all the etiquette rules, she was nice to other dogs, she walked on her leash, she rarely barked. We were spoiled. For me, Granola was part of the package deal. She was there the first day I met Drew, and as we walked around Lake Calhoun she pulled one of those 100-Dalmatians move where the dog wraps two wandering single people together in her leash until they are face to face about to kiss. No kidding. She actually did that. Its always been Drew, me and Granola. So imagining a day without her puts me in a new perspective that I haven't had for over 3 years. I'm lonely without her, and our house feels much too big.

For those of you without pets whom you are close to, its hard to understand how we could miss a pet so much. But in reality. She was part of our family. She greeted us each day at the door, she always enjoyed our company and never once doubted us. Dogs are amazing that way, their ability to love is endless. So this Christmas, if I had one Christmas wish, it would be to show this baby as much unconditional love as Granola showed us. Its something, in all honesty, I doubt we'll ever be able to do, but spend our lives trying.